


As Time Goes By

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-04-07 07:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19080523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: Sam never expected to see her again, let alone at a hunter funeral. But as it turns out, his most trusted friend from college has more than a few secrets to hide.





	1. Chapter 1

He’d never missed the peace and quiet of the backseat of the Impala quite so much before. For a few moments, standing there in the California sunshine, staring blankly at the map in his hand, Sam wanted to run. Run back to his family, to his life before, to the safety and security of what he  _ knew _ .

But he didn’t like what he knew.

He wanted more.

He wanted normal.

“Hey,” a friendly feminine voice called out; Sam was jerked out of his doubts and he looked up, his expression akin to a deer in headlights. The girl walking toward him was smiling brightly and Sam swallowed nervously. “You know, you might get somewhere if you hold the map the right way up.”

“Huh?” he blinked dumbly.

Reaching out, she plucked the white paper from his hand, turned it around and handed it back to him. Sam took it, his jaw hanging open as he realized his mistake.

“That should make it easier to read,” she quipped, gently teasing him. He smiled, shaking his head and adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. His hair fell into his face when he looked down bashfully and the girl giggled, tilting her head. “Freshman, huh?”

“Yeah, you?”

“I’ve been here a couple of weeks,” she replied. Sam grinned, unable to take his eyes off her face. “Long enough to know my way around campus. Mostly. I still haven’t found Human Behavioral Studies 101.”

He laughed at that, his cheeks twin dots of pink. “You’re doing better than me,” he offered, gesturing to the map. “I haven’t even found somewhere to live. Been living over at the Motel 6.” The girl grimaced at that and Sam smiled even wider. “Yeah, I know, right? I’m Sam, by the way. Sam Winchester.”

“Y/N,” she replied, grinning back and sticking out her hand. Swapping the map into the other hand, Sam shook hers, letting it go on a little longer than necessary. “Y/L/N. Not just Y/N. I’m not Beyonce or anything.”

“Or Cher,” Sam added uselessly, but Y/N smiled at his joke. “Say, you wanna help me find the housing office?”

Stepping up to his side, Y/N held out her arm. “Sir, it would be my pleasure.”

*****

“So you’re a Kansas boy, huh?” Y/N asked and Sam chuckled, nodding in confirmation. “I knew they grew them big out there. You sure you didn’t crash land in an alien pod?”

Lifting his coffee, Sam sipped at it, shaking his head. “Fairly sure,” he replied, placing the cup down and licking the foam from his lips. “Besides, I was only born there. Didn’t live there that long. Never lived anywhere long.”

“Ah,” she nodded, “military family?”

“Something like that,” Sam muttered, looking away briefly in discomfort. He wasn’t sure how to explain to someone that he’d grown up in motel rooms and cheap rentals, always moving from job to job, rarely stopping anywhere for more than a year. “What about you?”

“The same,” Y/N huffed, running her thumb around the edge of her coffee mug. “My uncle raised us - me and my little brother. He was always moving around, job to job. Easier not to pay your bills that way.”

Sam smiled, leaning his elbows on the table. “So you’re the eldest? That must be fun.”

“I can tell by the disgruntled expression that you are the younger sibling. Brother?”

He frowned, “yeah, how’d you guess?”

“Well, it was bound to be one or the other,” she giggled, making him grin again. “He must be proud of you.”

Sam snorted through his nose, trying not to think about how dejected Dean had looked when he’d walked out on him and their dad. “Not so much.”

Y/N gave him a sympathetic look. “Trust me, he might not say it… I’m proud of Chris, even though he’d a blockhead that needs to stop sleeping his way along the west coast.” She sighed, turning her mug around, watching the foam dance on the surface of the hot liquid. “But I’m proud of him.”

“My brother wasn’t happy I left,” Sam said quietly, not meeting her eyes. “I hurt him. Broke the cardinal Winchester rule.”

“Lemme guess,” she mused, tapping her finger against her chin. “Family first?” Sam laughed bitterly, nodding and Y/N smiled. “My uncle never stopped with it. I think he was just guilty.”

“About what?”

She gave him a soft look that made his heart clench. “He blames himself for my mom and dad. They were killed when I was a kid. He couldn’t have stopped it but… I feel bad for him sometimes. He got stuck with these two pre-teens, and the man can barely take care of himself.”

“You sure we’re not related?” Sam joked. “Because you just described my dad.”

“Who’d he lose?” she asked gently.

“My mom,” Sam replied solemnly. “She died in a house fire when I was a baby. I don’t even remember her.” Y/N fell silent, reaching across the table to touch his hand by way of apology for his loss. Sam smiled over at her. “It’s okay. Like I said,” he shrugged, “I don’t remember her.”

“I remember my mom. Not so much my dad. I was only six when it happened.”

The expression on her face was haunted and Sam swallowed, lowering his voice. “You were there?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she replied. “It was a long time ago. And I didn’t turn out so bad.”

“You seem alright to me,” Sam assured her and Y/N laughed again, the light coming back into her eyes. “Hey, thanks for today. I was really nervous. You’re kinda like a guardian angel, y’know that?” She smiled at him and Sam sighed happily.

He didn’t miss the backseat of the Impala or the crummy motel rooms and moldy rentals. Now he was here and making friends… the world seemed like a whole new place.

*****

“Sam!”

Y/N’s voice carried across the quad and Sam grinned, waving at her as his classmates wandered off. She jogged across the grass, catching up to him, slightly out of breath when she did. “Hey,” he greeted, looking down at the textbook in her hand. “Interesting class?”

“Not really,” she sighed, yawning as she fell into step beside him. “I was trying not to fall asleep.”

“Maybe cut back on the partying?” Sam joked and Y/N elbowed him in the ribs, making him laugh. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Frat parties are for losers.”

“Although,” she mused, hooking her arm through his, “there is a party this Friday at Delta Pi Kappa. You wanna check it out?” The expression he flashed her was wary and Y/N laughed, tugging on his arm. “Come on, it’s all part of the college experience. We’ve been here a month and we have yet to get drunk together. It’s a core part of friendship.”

Sam laughed, leaning into her a little. “Fine. But, you have to help me study tonight. Apparently, Professor Hammond is a real hard-ass who likes pop quizzes.”

“Ugh,” her nose wrinkled up, “some people suck the joy outta everything.” Excitement came over her and she wiggled a little. “Oh, we can have take out. I found this great little Mexican place just off campus, they do the most amazing fajitas -”

“Fajitas aren’t actually Mexican,” he pointed out, “they originated in Texas.”

She looked at him blankly. “And? They taste Mexican.” He laughed, tipping his head back and Y/N grinned, slapping his chest lightly. “You’re an asshole.”

“You love me anyway.”

“Only cos I haven’t made any other friends yet,” she retorted, glancing at her watch. “Ugh, I gotta run. You grab the movies, I’ll grab dinner, meet at your dorm for six?”

“Sure,” Sam agreed, bending as she moved to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.” Y/N grinned, turning away and sprinting across the quad. He watched her go, absolutely not admiring the curve of her ass; he jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Oh man,” Brady muttered, stepping up beside him. The younger freshman was one of the few friends Sam had made besides Y/N - they’d met in Introductory Law. “She is fine, Sammy.”

“Don’t call me Sammy,” Sam grunted and Brady chuckled.

“But she is fine.” Brady whistled through his teeth. “You hittin’ that?”

“Christ, Brady, no,” Sam replied, shrugging the other man’s hand off of his shoulder.

“Can I hit that?”

“I don’t think ‘sex pest’ is her type.” Brady laughed, shoving at Sam’s chest playfully. “Seriously, dude, stop objectifying women. They’re more than a set of tits and a pussy.”

Brady groaned, grabbing his crotch. “I’m sorry, man, I just can’t ignore my primal urges.” A disgusted moan crossed Sam’s lips and Brady laughed even harder, almost bending double at his own mirth. “C’mon, Sam. This is what college is for! And don’t think I didn’t see that peck on the cheek.” He winked and Sam rolled his eyes. “She likes you.”

“Shut up,” Sam growled, starting to walk off toward the cafeteria. “She’s just a friend.”

“Sure,” Brady sneered, following on his heels. “I believe you. Thousands wouldn’t.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh god,” Y/N groaned, the sound a little too sexual for Sam’s liking. She popped her fingers into her mouth, sucking the salsa from them - he was mesmerized, unable to stop staring. “That was so good.”

His jaw dropped.

Thank fuck her eyes were closed.

Quickly, Sam tore his attention away, focusing on clearing away the dishes from dinner and his books. The studying was done and they were both full, and he needed something to distract him from all thoughts of Y/N, naked underneath him.

She’d probably make amazing noises.

“Sam?” she called as he got to his feet and he turned, cheeks turning pinker as he looked down at her. “Would you grab me a beer?”

He grinned, nodding. “Sure.”

Y/N remained on the couch as he cleared away, thumbing through one of his books. She wasn’t taking any classes that he was taking, but she was interested in them. Specifically, History. “God, how do you remember all this?”

“Good memory, I guess,” Sam replied, retaking his seat on the couch and passing her one of the two beers he’d grabbed. “Remind me to thank your roommate for grabbing these.” 

She smiled, tipping her bottle toward him in a toast. “To Stacy,” she announced; Sam laughed, knocking the neck of his bottle against hers. The glass made a clinking sound and they both drank, lapsing into comfortable silence.

“Hey, you wanna watch Lord Of The Rings?”

“Hmmm,” Y/N swallowed her mouthful, sitting upright. “Which one? And I’m gonna judge you based on your answer.”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t mind, really.”

“No, I’m gonna need a solid answer. The future of our friendship depends on it.”

He raised an eyebrow at her serious expression, his own face still twisted in amusement. “Okay, fine.  _ The Two Towers _ .”

Y/N stared at him for a moment, giving nothing away, before a smile burst out on her face. “We can still be friends. For the record, I would have accepted  _ The Return Of The King _ as an answer.” Sam chuckled, getting up and heading over to the small collection of DVD’s he had. It was nice, this part of college, owning things that weren’t knock-offs or stolen goods.

Putting the movie on, Sam headed back to the couch, blinking in surprise when Y/N produced a polaroid camera. “Where’d you find that?”

“Under the coffee table. Does it belong to Kirk?” Y/N turned the thing over in her hands. “It’s really cool. I always wanted one when I was a kid.” Sam didn’t have a chance to react when she held the camera up, pressing her lips to his cheek before snapping a picture.

The camera whirred as it processed and the polaroid slipped out of the bottom. Y/N caught it and shook it, grinning happily when the photo developed. She held it out and Sam took it, grimacing at his surprised expression, his eyes half-closed and mouth stretched in a grin. 

“Proof you got kissed in college,” Y/N teased, putting the camera back where she found it. Sam kept hold of the photo, almost jumping when Y/N curled into his side, snatching the remote to start the movie. Dropping it onto the table beside the couch, he stretched out his arm, looping it around her shoulders, his entire face turning red as she ran her hand over his belly. 

The movie started and he could feel her mouthing along to the words, an action that made him smile. He relaxed a little more, feeling her do the same, and they sat in silence through the first scenes. When Gandalf reappeared, Y/N shifted, taking a swig of her drink.

“You okay?” Sam asked and she glanced at him, smiling.

“Pretty good. You?”

He nodded, squirming in his seat when she returned to her original position, and god, he hoped she couldn’t see how hard he was getting in his pants. Sam was entirely thankful his jeans were dirty and he’d put the more spacious slacks on that morning.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“If you could be any member of the Fellowship,” she pushed up to look at him, her hand on his thigh and dangerously close to his raging erection, “who would you be?”

Sam made a face as he thought, frowning at the tv. “I don’t know. I always liked Sam.” He smiled at her. “What about you?”

“Gimli,” she replied; Sam laughed and she grinned, her hand moving again. “I’m about as grumpy. Sam, huh? I guess that makes sense.”

“Why’d you say that?”

“You strike me as the brave, loyal type,” Y/N mused, sighing as she sank back into him. “Plus, Sam gets the girl in the end, right?” He didn’t say anything to that - they returned to watching the movie in companionable silence, his arm wrapped around her and her hand still resting on his thigh.

Slowly, his cock lost interest as he became a little more immersed in the film. When the Battle Of Helm’s Deep began, Y/N sat up a little more, her head on his shoulder; Sam could smell her shampoo and he couldn’t help but groan a little.

“You okay?” she asked, turning to face him.

She was so close. Her lips were wet, pink tongue darting out between them - his eyes dropped and before he could reign it in, he was leaning forward, pressing his mouth against hers. For half a second, he waited for her to slap him, call him an asshole and push him off.

Then she practically melted into him.

Her tongue pressed into his lips, demanding entrance and Sam granted it willingly, sliding his hand around her hip. Y/N moved with his touch, crowding in close until she simply threw a leg over his lap. Sam groaned, grinding up into her with little control but Y/N only writhed against him harder, dragging her covered sex against his bulging erection.

“Sam?” she panted, pulling away and placing both hands on his face.

“Yeah?”

The black of her pupils had almost eclipsed the color and she smiled, stroking her thumbs over his cheeks. “You wanna take this to the bedroom?”

“You sure?” he asked.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, nodding and Sam grinned, grabbing her ass with both hands and easily standing with her. Y/N shrieked and clung on for dear life, her hands buried in his thick hair.

The bedroom was only a few steps away in the shared residence and Sam used his foot to kick the door shut, lest any of his roommates return early. As he dropped Y/N to the ground, his fingers hooked her shirt, tugging it up over her head.

She was eager to return the favor, humming appreciatively as she dragged his shirt off, her fingertips dancing over his defined stomach and chest. “Wow. You were hiding this all that time?”

“Speak for yourself,” Sam growled, almost tackling her to the bed. Tangling up in each other, they fought to undress before the other did, their pants landing in a messy pile on the floor at the foot of Sam’s bed. He almost tore her bra off, groaning as her breasts were bared.

“What?” she asked coyly.

“Amazing tits,” he replied, sucking one hard nipple into his mouth, making her moan delicately. His other hand cupped her untouched breast, teasing that nipple with his thumb and forefinger. Y/N twisted and whimpered, rutting up against him through his boxers.

“Sam -”

He released her tit with a wet pop, grinning as she panted, her lidded gaze fixed on him. “What?”

“Can I suck your dick?”

The question was unexpected and distracted him enough for Y/N to push him off, letting him fall onto his back. She pounced, peeling his boxers down his thick thighs, tossing them to the floor with the rest of the clothes.

His cock sprang upright before smacking against his lower belly with a soft smack, precum already oozing from the swollen tip. Y/N’s eyes lit up with delight and Sam groaned when she instantly wrapped her fingers around him.

“Hiding a lot, huh?” she teased; Sam could only hum in response.

She kept playing with him, stroking him slowly from root to tip, her nails caressing the sensitive skin covering his balls. Sam watched her, his eyes almost shut, his lips parted in a silent gasp as Y/N lowered herself.

Her tongue stroked over the slit of his cock, gathering the precum gathered there and Sam grunted, his dick twitching at the surprisingly erotic move. Y/N went further, sliding her lips over his crown, rolling her tongue around it.

Sam had only been with three girls, four if he counted Penelope, but that had only gone as far as third base. His experience was limited when it came to blow jobs and his main concern was blowing his load before Y/N had even gotten started.

“Y/N,” he rasped, reaching for her.

“What?” she looked up, still holding his dick in her hand. “Am I doing it wrong?”

Her face was so innocent that Sam felt like a pervert. She sat there, tits swinging freely, nipples stiff in the cooled room; his cock throbbed and she squeezed it, almost reflexively.

“No,” he whispered, shaking his head, “just… it’s been a while and that feels really good -”

“Oh,” she giggled, “sorry.” Releasing him, she crawled over his body, leaning down to kiss him softly. Sam responded eagerly, sliding his fingers through her hair. “You got any condoms?” she asked, breaking away and he nodded, smiling.

“Yeah, but we don’t have to rush,” he murmured, kissing her again, rolling her back underneath his larger body. “And you can cum more than once.” He slid down, spreading her thighs as he went and Y/N sucked in a sharp breath when his nose dragged along her covered pussy. Sam hummed decadently, mouthing at the cloth.

His fingers crawled up her thighs, gripping the thin fabric of her panties to drag them down. She lifted her ass to assist him and Sam tossed the panties away, grinning as he looked down at her.

“You’re beautiful,” he praised; her instinct was to shy away but he held her legs apart, shaking his head. “Don’t.”

Y/N arched when his tongue caressed her folds, stroking up to stop at her clit. He pressed the pointed tip of his tongue into the swollen bundle of nerves, smiling when she gasped at the sensation. Repeating the action provoked the same response and Sam hummed against her, sliding one hand from her thigh to tease her entrance with the tip of his index finger.

His name fell from her lips in a desperate mewl when he slid his finger into her, his movements a little hesitant. The one and only time he’d gone down on a girl, she’d seemed to enjoy it, but that was two years ago and Y/N was an entirely different woman.

“More,” she whimpered, looking down at him with dark eyes and Sam chuckled, wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking lightly. Her hips jerked in response so he assumed he was doing it right, continuing to slowly thrust his finger inside her, adding a second when she wiggled impatiently.

Sam groaned as he felt how wet she was, burying his fingers deep and crooking them up a little to find the spot that made her inhale sharply and clutch at the sheets. When he found it, he teased it, watching her with his mouth sealed around her clit.

“Sam, Sam, Sam,” she chanted, rolling her hips against him, her eyes falling closed as he dragged her closer to the edge. “Sam - stop, stop -”

“What?” His head shot up in panic and he withdrew his fingers, watching her pant heavily, head lolling from side to side.

“Too much,” she whispered hoarsely, “was too good.”

Sam smiled slyly, his fingers probing her entrance again. “You liked that, huh?”

“Yeah,” her eyes opened just a fraction, “that hasn’t happened before.”

“Did you cum?”

She bit her bottom lip, eyes darting away. “I don’t know?”

His hand froze in place, two fingers half buried in her cunt. “You don’t know?”

“I mean, I know when I’ve cum but I’ve only ever… on my own. Usually I get myself off afterward.” Her entire face shone with embarrassment and Sam stared at her, slack-jawed. “What?”

Pressing his fingers deeper, he found that spot again and Y/N jumped, a little  _ ‘oh!’ _ escaping her. “I’m gonna make you cum,” Sam promised, stroking over her g-spot repeatedly. “You’re gonna relax and go with it.”

“Sam, I can’t -”

He lowered his mouth to her clit again, sucking it softly. “You can,” he murmured, “and I bet you’ll squirt. I’ve never made a girl do that.”

Y/N gasped, fisting the sheets in her hands again as he lifted himself, crushing the heel of his palm against her clit. His fingers were moving harder, faster - she whined, arching her back, simultaneously trying to get more and get away. Sam didn’t let her, holding her steady as he worked his fingers inside her, feeling her channel clench tighter and tighter around him.

She attempted to close her thighs, to prevent him getting to her, but Sam didn’t let it happen, watching in satisfaction as she slowly lost control, her eyes fluttering closed with a whimper of his name. Her climax came with a gush of warm liquid over his fingers, the squelching sound of her channel around his digits obscenely loud in the small room.

“That’s it,” Sam coaxed, his cock painfully hard as he watched her cum. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He leaned down, sucking one hard nipple into his mouth and Y/N shuddered, her thighs quivering as she fell back to earth. “How did that feel?”

There wasn’t an immediate answer; Sam looked up and grinned at her completely blissed out expression. Her mouth opened and shut several times before she finally managed a whisper. “Amazing.”

Sam withdrew, looking at his soaked fingers for a brief moment before wrapping them around his cock, smearing her juices over his shaft. When Y/N didn’t so much as move, Sam arched an eyebrow at her. “You wanna keep going?”

“Uh-huh,” she muttered, forcing her eyes open. “Fuck, Sam. That was amazing.”

“You already said that,” he commented with an amused tone, reaching over to the bedside table. He snatched a condom from the drawer, tearing it open with his teeth.

Y/N sat up, taking it from his fingers, tossing the empty foil to the floor. “Let me,” she purred, placing the latex ring on the tip of his cock, rolling it down slowly. Sam groaned at the surprisingly erotic display, eyeing her hungrily when she lay back and spread her thighs for him.

It was all he could do to hold back as he covered her body with his, engaging her in a passionate kiss as his cock teased her entrance. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to last as long as he liked - she’d gotten him too riled up.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to want to rush. Her hand ran over his shoulders and back, reaching down to briefly squeeze his ass as he started to penetrate her. As the first inch opened her up, Sam groaned at the heat, watching Y/N’s expression dissolve into pure pleasure.

Meeting a little resistance, Sam pulled back almost entirely, easing back in as her slick coated his dick, making it easier for him to bury himself deep inside her. Y/N dug her nails into his shoulders with a hiss as his cock filled her, a quiet  _ ‘oooo’ _ accompanying his moan.

“You feel amazing,” he murmured, kissing her softly, lingering against her lips. Lifting her legs to wrap them around his waist, Y/N smiled coyly at him, batting her eyelashes.

“Wanna fuck me, Sam?”

He groaned, rolling his hips to press deeper; Y/N whimpered, bottom lip protruding, full and glistening. Sam caught it between his teeth briefly before kissing her, starting to rock gently against her. God, she was warm and wet, perfectly wrapped around his cock - he could probably die happy with her underneath him.

It was too much.

“I’m gonna cum,” he warned, “I can’t -”

Y/N silenced him with a kiss, cupping his face as she pulled back to look at him. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “Wanna feel you cum, Sam.”

A growl rumbled up through his chest and he clutched her close, kissing her desperately as he pistoned his hips against her, his climax curdling in his belly. With a muffled roar, Sam came, burying his face in her throat, vaguely registering her quiet gasp of pleasure and the feel of her hands on the back of his head.

Y/N hummed happily as he slowed to a stop, keeping her legs around his waist. Sam’s head was cushioned against her shoulder, his warm breath coasting over her breasts. She ran her hand through his hair, smiling as he twitched a little, the adrenaline wearing off.

“That was pretty intense,” she commented quietly.

Sam chuckled, lifting with a groan. “Yeah,” he agreed, pulling out and wincing at the tightness on his sensitive dick.

They were silent as they cleaned themselves up and when Y/N emerged with one of his shirts on and little else, Sam thought he might have fallen a little bit harder. She didn’t hesitate when he threw back the covers, patting the bed to invite her into it.

He listened to her breathing slow as he held her in his arms. The embrace wouldn’t last all night - he usually ended up on the edge of the damn bed, too used to sharing and trying to keep a distance. But right now, with Y/N there, Sam finally felt like everything was worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything was dark around her. She stretched her arms out, searching for anything; a wall, a table, a weapon. But there was nothing.

“Hello?” she called out, squinting as if that would give her a better view of her surroundings. “Hello, is anyone there?”

No answer. She hadn’t been expecting one.

Moving forward, she hugged herself, the chill in the air getting worse. A metallic clinking sound came from behind her and she turned, peering into the darkness. “Hello?”

Yellow eyes.

From out of nowhere, a fire started, quickly surrounding her in a wreath of flame. The yellow eyes hovered just beyond the flickering oranges and reds, and though she couldn’t see a face, she knew it was smiling at her.

“Who are you?”

“You think you’re safe?”

The voice didn’t come from where the eyes were; she glanced around in a panic but there was nothing but black and flames and the yellow eyes boring into her. “What do you want?”

“You’re going to burn,” the voice promised, “just like the rest of them.”

She shuddered, stepping back, only to find the fire licking at her clothing, trying to catch light. “No, no!” Her hands were useless against the flames and she shrieked as her fingers burned. Eerie laughter started to echo around her and she sobbed, looking back at the yellow eyes.

Sam stared back at her from the flames.

Y/N woke with a jolt, sitting upright in the bed. Her skin was covered in sweat - she could still feel the heat from the fire in her dream. Beside her, Sam slumbered on, his naked back hunched over the pillow he was hugging.

Why had she dreamed about him?

Sleeping with him had been a mistake. She’d let herself get caught up in the moment; it had been so long since anyone had connected with her like Sam did. But he wouldn’t want her. Not if he knew the truth.

He wasn’t the only hunter escaping to a normal life.

Y/N slipped out of the bed, tugging down the stolen shirt she was wearing. She padded to the tiny bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as she could before turning to look in the mirror. Goosebumps erupted over her skin as she remembered how Sam had made her feel, fresh arousal almost tempting her to return to the bed and wake him for another round.

But this was a mistake.

Sam deserved a normal life. She knew all about who he was, who his father and brother were. It was coincidence they’d ended up at the same college and Y/N knew she shouldn’t have even approached him. Curiosity had started all this and her goddamn hormones had led her the rest of the way.

She had to fix this.

Splashing some water on her face, she cleaned up and slipped out of the bathroom, grabbing her clothes on the way. She dressed rapidly, casting worried glances at Sam as he slept, hoping he didn’t wake up.

When she was dressed, it took a few minutes to find some paper and a pen. The note was short - there wasn’t really a great way to explain sneaking out at 4am. Hoping he wouldn’t wake up for another couple of hours, Y/N wrote that she had to go to an early class, promising to call him, tucking the note underneath the pillow beside him.

That would give her a few hours to figure out how to stop this going any further.

*****

Sam woke slowly, stretching out as he rolled onto his back, automatically reaching out to touch Y/N where he assumed she’d be. When his hand hit the bed and not her warm skin, he frowned and sat up, looking around in confusion.

“Y/N?”

He glanced at the clock, which stared back at him in little red lights, proclaiming the time to be a little past seven. Had she gone for breakfast? The bathroom door was open and the sheets next to him were cold like they’d been empty for some time.

Spotting the note, he scooped it up, opening it to read. It was short, sweet - Sam, had an early class and needed to run. I’ll call you later.

His heart skipped and his chest tightened but before he could react any further, there was a knock at the door. Sam clutched the sheets around his waist and called out for whoever it was to come in. Brady appeared, grinning at him.

“Morning, sunshine,” he greeted and Sam smiled back half-heartedly. Peering around the room, the younger man raised an eyebrow. “Smells like sex in here.”

“Shut up,” Sam grumbled, reaching for his pants and sliding them on underneath the sheets. “What are you doing here?”

“You said you’d coach me on that interview -”

“It’s seven am, Brady, I’m not coaching you before I’ve had coffee.”

With a clap of his hands, Brady winked at him. “That’s the beauty, my friend,” he gestured to the door, “coffee shops, open at dawn for us poor tired students. And there just so happens to be a really hot barista -” Sam groaned out loud, ignoring Brady’s waffling as he started to dress. His mind was running a mile a minute.

Y/N had seemed happy last night. What the hell had happened to send her running like he was a one-night stand and the beer goggles had worn off?

He had to find her.

“Listen, Brady,” Sam interrupted his friend’s ode to the coffee shop girl’s breasts, “I really wanna help you out but I’ve got something I need to take care of.”

An arched eyebrow met his statement and Brady folded his arms over his chest. “Got anything to do with Y/N?” he asked and Sam balked, stuttering for words. Laughing, Brady shook his head. “Man, you got it bad. She run out on you?” He gasped, covering his mouth. “Did you pull a preemie?”

“Fuck off,” Sam snapped, his good nature running thin. “I just… I gotta find her, okay?”

Brady shrugged. “I guess I’ll go flirt by myself. Have fun with your drama.”

He disappeared out of the room without another word; Sam sank down onto the edge of the bed and covered his face with his hands, groaning in distress. Whatever had happened, he was clueless, and worrying he’d blown it somehow.

For weeks, he’d wanted nothing more than to kiss her, and now he’d had her in his arms, in his bed - he’d tasted her. Y/N was his best friend, probably the best friend he’d ever had. Had he let things go too far? Ruining their friendship was the last thing he wanted to do.

Thumping his hands onto his knees, Sam got up, grabbing his jacket and striding toward the door. He just hoped he could find her quickly and find out what was going on.

*****

She hadn’t entirely intended to avoid Sam, but it had happened anyway. Stacy had shooed him away when he turned up at the dorm, lying that Y/N was studying in the library. That gave her at least an hour - the library was on the other side of campus and the walk wasn’t short.

“You can’t avoid him forever, you know,” Stacy drawled, watching her roommate pace the room. “What happened that’s got you like this?”

Pausing in her stride, Y/N glanced at the other woman, sighing heavily. “I slept with him.”

Stacy’s eyes widened. “Wow. Well done.”

“Stacy -”

“I know, I know, but,” she leered, making Y/N uncomfortable, “seriously, well done. He is just… lickable.”

Y/N groaned, rolling her eyes. “He’s also my friend,” she pointed out, “and I broke the cardinal rule.” The other woman scoffed at that, dismissing her with a wave. Another groan left Y/N’s lips and she threw herself down onto her single bed, covering her face with her arm. “You don’t get it, Stacy,” she sighed. “Sam is an amazing guy. But we wouldn’t… we couldn’t work.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t explain it,” Y/N mumbled, turning her head away.

“Whatever,” Stacy snapped back. “I think you’re an idiot and you should talk to him. Girl, you don’t know what the future will bring. And just imagine how cute his babies would be.”

Y/N didn’t want to imagine that. She didn’t want to imagine a little house in the country, safe and sound, a white picket fence and kids playing freely in the sunshine.

Hunters didn’t get that life.

She wasn’t a fool. College was a reprieve. Her uncle had warned her it would be hard to walk away - she’d see cases everywhere, imagine monsters where there were none. The normal, civilian way didn’t work for those raised in the life.

Even then, her fantasies conjured up images of her and Sam hunting together. They’d make a hell of a team.

Just being friends with him was walking a fine line.

Heaving herself off the bed, Y/N grabbed her jacket, glancing over at Stacy who was texting away on her phone. “I’m going out.”

“What if Sam comes back?”

Y/N shrugged. “I dunno. Tell him…” She sighed, looking down at her feet as she grasped the door handle. “Tell him I moved to Mexico for the fajitas.”

*****

He was late for his only class that afternoon, so caught up in looking for Y/N all over campus. Slinking into the back row, Sam ducked down to avoid attention, and took a seat. For the whole lecture, he was trying to keep his eyes open; the exertion of last night coupled with an early wake up and running all over the place was catching up with him.

Y/N was avoiding him. He was sure of it.

The first hint had been Stacy lying to him about her whereabouts. She’d blocked the room from his view when he’d knocked and Sam knew if Y/N was going to study, she wouldn’t be at the library. He’d headed there anyway, putting more trust in the roommate than he should have.

He hadn’t found her there, obviously, and knew she’d be gone by the time he got back to the dorm. So he’d gone to her regular haunts, hoping to find her at one of those but they’d all been a bust.

Sam was close to giving up. Once class was done, he’d go over to her dorm again and if she wasn’t there or Stacy lied again… he’d take it as a sign.

Part of him didn’t want to give up. He’d found something he’d never found before and he didn’t want to let it go.

“Hey,” a voice next to him said quietly and Sam sat upright, eyes wide open as he looked over to his right. A pretty blonde smiled at him in amusement and he blinked at her dumbly. “You were falling asleep,” she whispered and Sam managed a lopsided smile.

“Sorry,” he replied, “rough morning.”

“I’ll bet,” she giggled, leaning on her hand as she looked at him. “I’m Jessica, by the way.”

“Sam.”

“You normally sit down the front, right?” she asked and Sam nodded. “Guess I’m lucky you were late.”

Sam smiled genuinely, leaning back as he tried to pay attention to what was being taught. As the class finished and the other students gathered their things, Jessica flashed him another bright smile and Sam returned it happily.

“Maybe you could be late again next time,” she offered, getting to her feet. “That seat’s always empty.”

“Uh, thanks,” Sam mumbled, his cheeks darkening as Jessica flirted. “I’ll keep it in mind.” Turning on her heel, Jessica started to walk away leaving him alone. He shook his head, frowning at himself before getting up and heading in the opposite direction.

Reaching the dorm took him ten minutes of fast walking and he couldn’t hide his disappointment when Stacy answered the door again. “Sam,” she greeted, “she’s not here. Sorry, dude.”

“She wasn’t at the library,” he accused softly and Stacy swallowed, eyes widening a fraction. “Stacy, please, I gotta find her.”

“I don’t know where she is,” Stacy replied honestly, looking a little sad. “All she said was to tell you that she moved to Mexico for the fajitas.” Sam frowned, unsure what to make of that cryptic riddle and Stacy sighed, shaking her head. “Man, I don’t know what happened but maybe you should take the hint.”

“The hint?” Sam asked, blinking in confusion.

“Y/N’s weird,” her roommate offered. “Maybe you should just… let her cool off.”

“I don’t even know what I did,” he confessed, wringing his hands and Stacy smiled sympathetically. “She didn’t say anything?”

“Only that you’re an amazing guy.” Sam brightened a little at that but her expression remained pitiful. “But then she was going on about breaking the cardinal rule and how you’d never work.”

Sam wasn’t sure what to make of that. It wasn’t a situation he’d been in before, sleeping with someone he considered a friend. Maybe she hadn’t either and she was freaking out. They’d had a few beers, after all. “She wants to stay friends,” he concluded, his shoulders slumping.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Stacy whispered. “Look, she’s gotta come back sometime, right? Maybe you’ll catch her.”

“Yeah,” he grunted, turning away, dragging himself along the hallway. Stacy watched him go before closing the door, wishing Y/N wasn’t being such a stubborn idiot.

She was letting something great slip through her fingers.


	4. Chapter 4

Avoiding someone was tiring and Y/N was quickly running out of places to hide on campus. Sam didn’t seem to be actively seeking her out anymore but he did happen to be at every place she’d been to. So far, she’d gotten away with a quick glimpse - it wouldn’t be long before there was a confrontation.

Plan B was just as awful as Plan A had been.

But college was meant for experimentation and as far as Y/N was concerned, whiskey and vodka went very well together and were very much helping to blot out her memories. And everything else.

Delta Pi Kappa was the main fraternity on campus. Freshmen were welcomed at their parties but no one was allowed to pledge until their second year. And tonight was the night the second year students got their first taste of fraternity hazing.

Y/N didn’t care about that but it was amusing to see what they were making the boys do. She occupied herself with downing shots followed by beers and fruity punch drinks that tasted a little off. In this atmosphere, dancing and drinking was the perfect distraction from her woes.

This was what college was supposed to be about, right?

Sam didn’t turn up for the first hour or two and Y/N forgot about him as she flirted with other guys, enjoying the attention. She hadn’t dressed conservatively in the slightest, and this wasn’t how she  _usually_  behaved around people but hey, everyone needed a night off.

By the time the object of her sorrows arrived, she could barely stand, leaning against the wall while a hulking jock in a varsity jacket towered over her, his body far too close for Sam’s liking.

Y/N grinned lazily at something the jock said; it was clear she wasn’t paying attention. Sam knew what was about to happen - the jock went in for a kiss, unwanted by her. She pushed him away and promptly pissed him off.

“What the hell is your problem?” the guy hissed, staring at her. The alcoholic haze in her eyes lifted a little as Sam watched, her body automatically falling into a fighting stance. That fact alone confused him - she almost acted like Dean when there was a brawl about to start.

Her fists curled at her sides as the jock got into her personal space, pressing her back against the wall. People were starting to notice the fight and Sam knew he had to act before Y/N got herself arrested and imprisoned by some high-and-mighty frat boy with a rich daddy.

“Hey!” Sam called, positioning himself next to the other male, drawing himself to his full height which was more than a few inches over the jock. “She’s drunk. You wanna land yourself a sexual assault charge?”

The guy snorted but took a step back, clearly reassessing his odds against the surprisingly scary looking woman and the huge guy who’d decided to intervene. “She’s a slut anyway,” the jock scoffed, waving his hand and stalking off to harass someone else.

Sam sighed, suddenly realizing how much adrenaline was pumping through his body. Y/N swayed, groaning loudly and clutching her stomach. “You okay?”

Her legs gave way and Sam caught her, hooking his hands under her thighs and hoisting her into his arms. The party-goers moved out of his way as he carried her out into the yard, finding a quiet spot to sit down with her. The grass was slightly damp under his ass but it wasn’t much of a concern in the hot Californian air.

Y/N moaned as Sam set her down, her head rocking against his shoulder. “Sam?”

“Yeah,” he grunted, folding his legs underneath his body. “You really took to the party lifestyle, huh?”

She frowned, her eyes still shut. “I thought it would make things better.” Her tongue darted out as her eyes opened a fraction, the frown turning into a scowl. “Who decided you could be so damn pretty?”

“Let’s get you back to the dorm,” Sam muttered, brushing hair out of her face as she stared up at him drunkenly, her legs shaking where he held her in his lap. “You need to sober up.”

Y/N’s bottom lip protruded in a pout but she nodded, burying her head in his chest. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

“For what?” he asked, frowning.

“This is all my fault,” she groaned into his shirt and Sam sighed a little, shaking his head. “Shoulda told you the truth.” He pulled back, looking down at her but her eyes were closed again, jaw half-open in her drunken stupor. She was clearly on the cusp of passing out.

“How about you talk to me properly?” he murmured, cupping her cheek. “When you’re not three sheets to the wind?”

Y/N pouted again, keeping her eyes closed. “You’re my best friend, Sam,” she whispered. “I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You’re not gonna,” Sam insisted, moving her into a seated position. “But I need to get you home, okay? We’re gonna stand up, and you’re not going to puke. Think you can manage that?” A lazy shrug was his answer and he grunted, hoping she wouldn’t throw up on him. He had a strong stomach for most things but people blowing chunks was not one of them.

It took a few minutes to get her upright and even then, she leaned heavily on him as he led her out of the side gate from the frat boys’ yard, onto the quiet street. Gradually, the noise from the party became a distant buzz and by the time they got onto campus, Y/N seemed to be sobering up at least a little bit.

Sam kept her tucked into his side, guiding her to her dorm room. “Is Stacy home?”

“Dunno,” Y/N grumbled, clutching her jacket against her chest. “It’s cold.”

“It’s not. You’re just feeling the effects.”

“This is horrible,” she whimpered, nausea starting to make her stomach churn. “I feel awful. Shouldn’t that part wait until I wake up?”

Laughing, Sam shook his head. “Not always. How much did you drink?”

Y/N shrugged at that, not looking up at him. He watched her face, slowing to a stop as she started to grimace, her eyes watering. “I’m gonna puke -”

There was barely a few seconds of warning before she lurched away from him, falling to her knees in the gutter, heaving. Sam closed his eyes, cursing his bad fortune, before steeling himself and leaning over to pull her hair out of her face.

The vomiting only lasted a moment or two but it was enough to have Y/N in tears. She got to her feet with Sam’s assistance, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Fuck,” she whined, “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s just get you back,” Sam murmured, hoping Stacy was there to help out with his problem. Y/N stumbled forward but Sam grabbed her, tucking her into his side again. “It’s not far. Next building is yours.”

She groaned as he helped her on and when they reached her dorm, Sam saw that her windows were dark, much to his dismay. It took work to get her through the door and at the bottom of the stairs, Sam considered his options.

Y/N didn’t protest when he scooped her up into his arms, taking the steps two at a time. The corridors on the third floor were mostly empty and no one seemed perturbed by the large freshman carrying another freshman.

“You got your key?” Sam asked, lowering Y/N to her feet. She yawned and stretched, nodding at him before slowly retrieving her key from her pocket. Sam took it, unlocking the door and helping her inside.

As soon as the door was closed, Y/N made a beeline for the bathroom, slamming the door just before Sam heard retching sounds from behind it. He grimaced, heading for the refrigerator and swiping a bottle of water. A few seconds later, he heard her electric toothbrush whizzing.

“I’ve got a water here for you,” Sam called, sitting on the edge of the bed.

The bathroom door opened slowly and Y/N leaned heavily against the doorframe. “This sucks,” she mumbled, shuffling awkwardly to the bed, crawling on at the foot with her back to the wall. Sam turned a little in his seat, smiling in amusement as he offered the water.

“Do you need me to get you a straw?” he asked his tone patronisingly sweet. Y/N scowled, snatching the bottle and propping herself up on one elbow to take a few delicate sips. “You still feel sick?” Sam reached over, checking her forehead.

“Yeah,” she replied quietly, putting the bottle on the nightstand and flopping face down into her covers.

“Is Stacy coming back tonight?”

“Dunno.”

“You’re not being very helpful.”

“Sorry.”

Sam sighed, rubbing her back softly. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No.”

She was lying and Sam knew it. He wasn’t about to leave her alone - he’d never forgive himself if she choked on her own vomit or something equally horrific. “I’m gonna stay,” he announced and Y/N turned her head toward him, frowning a little.

“Why?” she whispered. “I avoided you after -”

“You’re my best friend, Y/N,” Sam chided, kicking his shoes off and laying back on the bed. “We can forget it ever happened if you want. If it makes you more comfortable.” Her face was unreadable, save for the nausea, and Sam waited, feeling more nervous with each passing moment.

“I think it’s best,” she said finally, her voice quiet enough that he had to strain to hear it but loud enough that it shattered his heart into pieces. Forcing a smile onto his face, Sam nodded and slid down the bed, pulling her in to let her rest against him.

“Get some sleep,” he muttered, kissing the top of her head. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

*****

The sound of someone clearing their throat made her eyes open, the mere action making her groan as last night’s makeup clung to her eyelashes. Her mouth was stuck to someone’s shirt, their warm chest steadily rising and falling under her cheek.

“Well,” Stacy commented, standing at the foot of the bed with her arms folded across her chest and one eyebrow arched high, “when you said go big or go home -”

Sam woke with a start, giving Y/N only a second to react and move backward before he was striking out, one hand curled into a fist as the other went for the non-existent gun under the pillow. It took less than a second for him to realize where he was and he grinned sheepishly at Stacy, who stared at him like he’d gone mad.

“Sorry,” he muttered, stretching as he yawned.

Y/N sat up, clutching her head. “Oh, god…”

“Yeah, that’ll be the tequila shots kicking in,” Stacy drawled, turning her back on them as she started pulling clothes out of her overnight bag. “You know, I’m hearing all sorts of crazy rumors about your behavior last night.”

“Like what?” Y/N grunted, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to clear her vision of mascara and eyeliner.

“Like you nearly picked a fight with a DPK senior and he’s swearing up and down some skinny freshman threatened him with a knife.” Sam rolled his eyes as Stacy chuckled, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “Don’t worry, no one believes him. Everyone knows Chad Biggerson is a stuck up rich kid and a pussy to boot.”

Forcing a smile onto his face, Sam sat up, bracing his weight on the edge of the small bed. It hadn’t been a comfortable night’s sleep and he’d been awake for hours after Y/N had finally passed out, worried she’d be sick or have a seizure or something irrational.

When he finally drifted off, his dreams didn’t help his predicament - it was only for the saving grace of his baggy pants and the covers Y/N had haphazardly thrown over his lap that neither of the women had noticed his raging erection.

Luckily, Stacy had scared the shit out of him enough for his blood to rush back north, preventing him from enduring any further embarrassment.

“So this is… cozy,” Stacy said, grinning at them both. “You two finally talk it out?”

“Sorta,” Sam relented, glancing at Y/N.

“Yeah,” she grunted in agreement, still clutching her head. “God, we got any Tylenol?”

“You can keep praising the almighty, girl, but you’ve only got yourself to blame for this.” Stacy got up, crossing the room to pick up a bottle of aspirin. “That’s all we’ve got. But I’m sure Sam will be more than happy to run to the pharmacy for you.”

Sam grinned. “Of course I will,” he agreed and Y/N gave him a thankful smile. “What are friends for?”

She tried not to let his words get to her, but last night’s conversation was still very much fresh in her mind. Swallowing around the bile in her throat, she nodded, smiling as brightly as she could. “You’re the best.”

He patted her hand, getting up quickly to locate his shoes. Once he’d slipped them on, he moved to the door, glancing back at the two women. “Anything else?”

“Breakfast would be amazing,” Stacy called out and Sam chuckled. “Y/N could probably do with something in her stomach. Y’know, if she doesn’t yak her guts up again.” Y/N groaned and flopped back down on the bed.

“I’ll get her something… healthy,” he replied, smirking as he slipped out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him. Remaining on her bed, Y/N covered her face with her pillow, screaming into it while Stacy laughed.

“Wanna talk?” she offered.

“No,” Y/N growled, the word muffled by the pillow.

“So are you and Sam just friends now?”

Y/N rolled onto her side, turning her back to Stacy, who continued to laugh. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her hands around her middle, listening to the other woman gather up her things and disappear into the shower.

It was hard not to cry when she was finally alone.

Just friends. That was it. It was stupid even being that but Y/N couldn’t let it go. Sam was the only person she’d ever gotten close to. She wished she could tell him the truth, explain to him who she was, that they had more in common than he could even dream but…

But that would be suicidal. And stupid. It would get one or both of them killed.

Sam deserved normal.

Y/N would give him that.


	5. Chapter 5

_Eighteen months later…_

It was raining heavily outside and the folder she’d held over her head to try and get even the slightest bit of shelter was completely soaked through. As was she. By the time she’d made it to the dorm, her entire being was more water than it should have been and when she tumbled through the doors to the immense building, Y/N didn’t bother to resist the urge to shake off like a dog.

Not that it did much good.

Lowering the folder, she stared in dismay at the ruined green cover, not daring to open it in case the contents were also ruined.

“Y/N!” Sam’s voice rang out across the dorm communal area and Y/N turned, trying to ignore the thump of her heart as she saw her best friend lean down to kiss his girlfriend. She didn’t have anything against Jessica - she was amazing and funny and beautiful and everything else Sam deserved.

It was her own fault. Y/N had done this to herself.

Seemed to be becoming a habit.

Sam jogged over after he said goodbye to Jess, who disappeared off with her book club or whatever it was she did on Y/N and Sam’s study nights; his face was twisted with confusion as he looked around. Y/N smiled, shivering on the spot, dripping water onto the floor.

“What’s wrong?” she asked and Sam pulled a face.

“I was expecting Jamie to be with you,” he said.

“Uh, yeah,” Y/N hesitated, avoiding Sam’s eyes, “we kinda called it quits.”

“What?”

“Well, not so much  _we_  as  _he_  called it quits by sleeping with three different girls at the Tri-Delt party and then lying to me about it.” Her smile wobbled but she shrugged it off, hoping her residual tears were masked by rainwater. Jamie had been too good to be true and after six months of dating, six months of adequate to mildly boring sex had gotten Y/N nowhere. “Still, probably better it ends now than further down the road.”

Sam frowned but she didn’t give him a chance to speak, moving past him toward the stairs. Turning on his heel, Sam almost growled in frustration, trying to curb his rage at Jamie’s actions. It was clear Y/N was hurt but she’d never admit it, not even to him.

They’d never quite reclaimed that closeness they’d had at the beginning. It was almost like she was  _frightened_  of him - she’d all but thrown him at Jessica when he’d casually mentioned their first date eleven months ago.

He’d fallen in love with Jessica, he knew that… it was just different. With Y/N, Sam didn’t feel like he had to hide anything. He’d almost told her the truth about his family on more than one occasion. Sam knew he could trust her, but her recent behavior held him back.

Neither of them spoke as they climbed the steps to the second floor, where Y/N now had a single dorm room. Stacy had dropped out at the end of their first year and headed to LA to be an actress, although Sam knew Y/N still spoke to her on the phone frequently.

“Jess says hi, by the way,” Sam blurted out when they stopped outside her dorm room. “She had to run, her yoga class was meeting -”

“Oh yeah,” Y/N replied, wondering why he was acting weird and frowning as she turned away to unlock the door. Sam trailed in behind her as she walked into the room, tossing the soaked folder onto her desk and shrugging her jacket off. “I’m just gonna go change,” she informed Sam, peeling off her overshirt as she walked toward the bathroom. “You know where everything is.”

Sam nodded, wandering over to her bed and sitting down, pulling his books out of his bag. They didn’t actually share any classes but Y/N was good at studying and more organized than he was. She’d shown him more than one trick he hadn’t thought of when it came to his schoolwork and he wasn’t sure he’d have gotten very far without her help.

“What we studying tonight?” Y/N asked, emerging from the bathroom in a pair of sweats and a tank top, drying her hair off on a towel.

“Er,” Sam picked up his schedule, peering at it for a moment, “the economics of historic Egypt.”

“Ooo, my favorite,” she joked, grabbing a soda from the refrigerator. “You want one?”

“Sure.” He flashed her a smile, catching the can she threw to him. Snapping it open, Sam took a swig and placed the can down on a coaster on the nightstand. “

Y/N tossed her towel in the laundry bin at the foot of her bed before throwing herself down beside him, looking over his shoulder at the thick textbook. “Ugh, this looks involved.”

“You can tell by the front cover?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“The thickness gives it away,” she retorted, leaning back against the wall with a sigh.

Sam hesitated for a moment, running a hand over the tacky front of the worn book. His summer job wages hadn’t extended to brand new textbooks, so the gross second hand ones were his only option. Lucky for him, he was used to hand-me-downs.

“We don’t have to do this tonight,” he muttered, glancing at her over his shoulder. She was clearly still struggling to hold it together and Sam knew she wouldn’t talk about it unless she was pushed. “I’m way ahead on all my classes. We could just chill out. Watch a movie.”

They’d done that plenty of times, of course, but not usually alone. The last time they’d watched anything alone… well, Sam tried not to think about it or wish it would happen again. He was with Jessica now and he really did like her; he wanted to marry her, could see a future with her.

Not that he couldn’t see that with Y/N, but she didn’t want it.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Y/N asked meekly, not meeting his eyes. She stared straight ahead, almost catatonic as she flicked the pull tab on the can.

“Why do you say that?”

She shrugged, rolling her head against the plasterboard wall behind her. “Jamie. Said I was… damaged goods.”

Sam frowned; his urge to go find Jamie and put a gun in his mouth growing. “You’re not.”

With a sniff, Y/N’s bottom lip wobbled, tears escaping her eyes. She wiped angrily at her face, looking away from him. “I’m being stupid,” she mumbled.

“You’re not,” Sam repeated, feeling a little lame. “Jamie is a dick. And he’s probably got, like, ten sexually transmitted diseases.” Y/N giggled at that, covering her mouth and nose with her hand and Sam smiled, glad he could at least cheer her up a little. “You’re better off out of that.”

Her reluctant nod gave him a slight bit of hope. “How about you and Jess?” she asked, sniffling again. “You seem good.”

“Jess is great,” Sam replied with a little more enthusiasm than was probably needed. “You know, she’s fun and smart and pretty…” He trailed off, unsure what else to say. Y/N stared at him, her facial expression unsteady as she smiled.

“I’m glad,” she whispered, patting his shoulder, “you guys are great together. She makes you happy.”

 _You would have made me happy,_  Sam’s mind provided. But he only nodded, smiling back at her. Moving forward, she sat up straight, grabbing the textbook from him.

“We should really get started.”

*****

_Ten months later_

Summer in California brought a scorching heat wave that made everything hot and sticky, rendering classes unbearable without some form of air conditioning. Of course, the heat was only an excuse for frat parties centering around pools and naked women, something the majority of the campus threw itself behind.

Y/N didn’t. She studied and worked a part-time job at a local youth centre, coaching self-defense to young kids. If she wasn’t doing either of those, she was hanging out with Sam and Jess, although she avoided that wherever possible.

It hurt to watch them be happy, even though she knew it was the right thing.

And it didn’t seem to matter how much she avoided Sam, he’d always catch up to her, refusing to let her go as a friend. Equally, she didn’t want to let go of him either, even though it hurt in the long run.

The knock at her door at an ungodly hour in the morning made Y/N drag herself from the bed, leaving a perfect outline of her back in sweat on the sheets. She almost stalled by the fan, bathing in the cool air but her visitor was impatient, knocking for a second time.

“Alright, alright,” she grumbled, grabbing a vest to put on over her bare breasts. She was only wearing panties on her lower half but it was fucking hot as hell and if anyone had a problem with her bare legs, she’d smother them with her thighs.

That thought was followed by instant regret as she opened the door to Sam’s grinning face. “Hi!” he chirped and Y/N scowled.

“You have any idea what time it is?”

“Seven am,” he replied, pushing past her into the small dorm room. “The mail just came!”

Y/N grunted in disgust, slamming the door and turning to glare at him. “Sam, seven am is strange people time. I know you mix with that type but me?” She shook her head, crossed her arms over her chest. “I am normal people. We sleep in on Saturdays.”

“You’re not listening,” Sam gushed, waving a letter in her face. “I’m being put up for an interview, full ride post-grad with a paid internship!” Y/N blinked, drawing her head back in displeasure at the letter being waved in her face.

Reaching up, she snatched it from his grasp, unfolding the crisp white pages and reading through. Everything he’d said filtered through and she looked up with a shocked expression. “Sam… this is amazing!”

“I know, right?” He was almost giddy. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I only helped you study,” she defended, handing the letter back. “But we should go get breakfast and celebrate, as you’ve woken me up. Have you told Jess?” Of course, he’d have told Jess; they lived together now.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, staring down at the letter. “Breakfast sounds great. I left Jess to have a shower but I had to tell you.”

“Never heard of a phone, huh?”

Sam gave her that lopsided grin that turned her knees to mush. “You wouldn’t have picked up.”

She conceded that point with a nod, jerking her thumb at the bathroom. “I’ll just get dressed. I know it’s hot but no one needs to see this.”

“Hey, wait, before we go meet Jess,” Sam said suddenly, reaching out to stop her leaving, “I wanted… I wanted to tell you something. I already decided a few weeks ago but you’re my best friend and I…”

“What is it, Sam?” Y/N turned back to face him, concern covering her features. Sam swallowed nervously, fiddling with the letter in his hands, taking too long to answer. “Sam?”

He smiled nervously, meeting her worried gaze. “If I get this, it’ll be huge. And I think if it’s definite, I’m gonna ask Jess to marry me.”

The bottom dropped out of her world and Y/N felt dizzy. Sweat dripped down the small of her back as she gaped at him, unsure what to do or say to the bomb he’d just dropped. “Oh -” she whispered. “I mean -”

Sam held up a hand, stopping her from saying anything. “I’m gonna ask her… unless you give me a reason not to do it.”

Silence was like a deafening blanket over her head, as if someone had submerged her in ice. He couldn’t be serious? Leaving a decision like that to her, when he… he thought they were only friends. They were best friends. What had happened was in the past, a mistake, they’d agreed…

He loved Jess.

Jess was what he deserved.

“You’re my best friend, Sam,” she choked out, forcing herself to smile. “I want you to be happy. And this is great. This is what you always wanted, right?” Inside her chest, she felt like someone was twisting a corkscrew but she kept her composure, staring up at him as he slowly closed off, nodding tightly.

“Sure,” Sam muttered, folding the paper back up and tucking it into his back pocket. “Hey, you mind if we raincheck on that breakfast?”

“O-of course,” Y/N whispered, swallowing down the grief that clogged her throat. “Another time.”

Sam smiled, the falsity of it making his cheeks hurt as he backed away. “Sorry I woke you up,” he mumbled, refusing to look at her as he opened the door and slipped out. The lock clicked behind him and Y/N’s legs gave way, sending her to the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

It took three weeks for Jessica to get tired of Sam’s sulking and Y/N absence. She didn’t know what had happened but it was clearly enough to drive apart two close friends. And Jess didn’t like seeing either her boyfriend or her friend so upset.

Convincing Y/N to join her for coffee was hard but she finally managed it, a month after their falling out. She waited in the campus cafe, two lattes freshly on the table, ready to try and figure out what had gone wrong.

“Hey,” Jessica called, waved Y/N over as she walked in through the front door. Y/N smiled nervously, walking over and sliding into the seat opposite her. “I got you a latte. Extra foam, extra chocolate.”

“Thanks,” Y/N rasped, wrapping her hands around the cup.

“You’re a hard girl to nail down lately,” Jessica commented, sipping at her drink delicately. “I’m starting to think I did something wrong.”

“No,” Y/N rushed to answer, “no, it’s not you. Sam and I… we had an argument.”

It was a lie but Jessica seemed to buy it, frowning and leaning in to place her drink back down. “What about?”

“Jamie,” Y/N lied again. The dispute between her and Jamie had become a little more public than she’d wished and Sam had almost gotten into a fight with the guy at a campus party. “We… we were seeing each other again -”

“Y/N… no,” the blonde shook her head.

“Yeah, that’s what Sam said and I said it was over,” Y/N let the untruths flow, feeling more guilty by the second, “and it is, I promise, but Sam was…”

“A pig-headed idiot?” Jessica sighed. “He’s just protective of you, Y/N. Sam sees you like a sister.” The remark cut Y/N deep but she kept herself straight, closing her eyes to try and conceal her own emotions. She wanted to tell Jessica that Sam had never seen her that way, but she wasn’t about to break her friend’s heart along with her own.

“I know,” she whispered. “And I overreacted. It got out of hand.”

“You need to talk to him,” the other woman urged, taking Y/N’s hand. “He loves you, you love him, whatever was said, you can put it behind you.”

Y/N smiled, putting on her best acting. “Thanks, Jess. I will talk to him. Is he at the dorm?”

Jessica beamed, squeezing her hand. “He’s studying. I know he could use his study buddy.” She released Y/N’s hand, picking up her coffee. “But, you can spare me a little while. I’ve got to catch you up on some things.”

*****

Y/N didn’t feel any better after her chat with Jessica; if anything she felt worse. It felt like deceiving her, not disclosing her history with Sam. Yes, Y/N had every intention of talking to Sam, of filling him in on the lies she’d told to protect his relationship.

She needed him to play along or Jessica would be crushed.

Jogging along the campus walkway, Y/N frowned when a bush rustled behind her. It was getting dark out and her senses weren’t entirely dulled. Keeping on alert, she slowed her pace, listening for anything behind her.

The presence of whatever was stalking her grew stronger and she turned, lifting her fist just as a blur tackled her around the waist, carrying her into a nearby wall. Y/N yelped and slapped at her attacker, who promptly started laughing.

Kicking him off, Y/N glared at her younger brother, brushing herself down as he chuckled away. “God, you’re still so easy to sneak up on.”

“What the hell are you doing, Chris?” she hissed, pushing at his shoulders violently. He stumbled back a few feet but didn’t stop laughing, clutching his sides. “I told you not to come here.”

The younger man sobered, standing straight and offering her a wry grin. “Had no choice. Uncle Joshua’s sick.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “What?”

“It’s not good, sis,” Chris confessed. “I really need you to come home.”

She shook her head, stepped back with her hands up. “No, Chris. No, I told you, I’m out.”

He snorted, looking around at the campus. “And this is what you’re choosing? Over family? What, got some hot boyfriend? Normal, average and all that crap?” Chris shook his head in disgust. “Y/N, you don’t belong here.”

“Chris, please -”

“We need you, Y/N,” he pleaded, walking closer until he could cup her face in his hands. “Please, sis, he’s not in a good way. He don’t have much longer left.”

Her gut churned as she stared back at her sibling, feeling a wealth of guilt weigh her down. She’d always felt more responsible for Chris than she should have and this was no exception. If Uncle Joshua died, Chris would have no one.

“Okay,” she nodded, whispering her answer. Chris smiled, kissing her forehead.

“Go pack a bag and do whatever you gotta do,” he instructed, “I’m staying at the motel six downtown, meet me there.”

Y/N nodded dumbly, watching him walk away. She shuddered, looking toward her dorm building, Sam’s a few blocks beyond it. Saying goodbye felt too painful and he would hurt less if he carried on believing they weren’t friends anymore.

Hurrying back to her room, Y/N grabbed a bag from the closet and started to pack.

*****

Sam’s phone rang just as he got out of the bathroom and he rushed to pick up, smiling when he heard Jessica’s voice on the other end. “Hey, baby,” he greeted.

“ _Hey_ ,” she replied,” _did Y/N come over_?”

He frowned at that, wondering what his girlfriend was up to. She’d been vocal about his and Y/N’s sudden avoidance of each other and Sam had been hoping she’d let it go. Apparently, he was wrong. “No,” he mumbled, “was she supposed to?”

“ _Oh, I mean, she told me she was going to. I left her about thirty minutes ago, I thought she’d be there -_ ”

“Did you talk to her?” Sam asked, his throat getting drier with every passing second. “What did she say?”

“ _She told me about your fight. About Jamie_.”

Internally, Sam sighed. Y/N had lied. “Er, yeah, that was… that was what it was about. I just didn’t wanna tell you,” he excused, “it wasn’t really my business.”

“ _Well, now I’m worried. I’m gonna be late for my evening class, would you mind checking on her_?”

“Sure,” Sam replied, nodding. “Have a good class, baby. I’ll text you when I’ve found her.”

Jessica ended the call and Sam stared at the phone, knowing he should go to Y/N’s dorm and get their story straight. It felt like cheating and he supposed it was, even if anything that had happened had happened before him and Jessica were a thing.

Grabbing his jacket, he made sure he had his keys before jogging out of the apartment complex, almost sprinting the few blocks to the dorms. He punched in the code to Y/N’s building and took the steps two at a time to reach her floor, panting by the time he reached her room.

“Y/N?” he called, knocking hard on the door.

There was a brief silence - the lock on the door flicked off and Sam grabbed the handle, dragging it down to open the door. Y/N had her back to him; she was packing a bag.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, Sam.” She sounded miserable.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked, his voice a whisper. “Are… are you leaving?” She nodded but didn’t say anything else. His stomach clenched violently and he stepped forward, shaking his head in denial. “Why? What… what happened?”

“My uncle is sick,” Y/N informed him quietly. “Chris needs me at home.”

Sam felt a small measure of relief at that. “But you’re coming back, right? Once he’s better?”

“He might not get better.” She folded another shirt, shoving it in the suitcase. He stared in disbelief, gaping as she kept putting more and more clothes into the suitcase. “You’d do the same thing if it was Dean.”

Her words hit him like a truck and he blinked at her, still shaking his head. “Y/N -”

“I’m sorry, Sam,” she whispered, “but I have to do this. You’re my best friend.” A sob left her throat, drawing Sam closer. He reached up, touching her face. “Sam -”

“Don’t go,” he begged, tears in his eyes. “Y/N, please don’t -” Words failed him and he leaned in, crushing his mouth against hers, kissing her deeply. For a split second, Y/N gave in, letting him lick into her mouth, his big hands framing her face.

Then she realized what she was doing.

Pushing back violently, she fisted her hands at her sides. “You’re with Jessica,” she snapped.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” Sam exclaimed. “Y/N, I lo -”

“No!” Y/N stopped him, closing her eyes. “You love Jess, Sam! Not me. You’re just…” She shook her head, sobbing loudly this time, unable to hold the tears at bay. Turning her back on him, she angrily closed her bag, hoisting it onto her shoulder.

Marching toward the door was hard when Sam’s huge frame blocked her path. He stared down at her with pleaded puppy dog eyes. “Y/N.”

Lifting her chin, Y/N clenched her jaw. “Goodbye, Sam.”

She didn’t look back.

*****

_Two months later…_

Her phone was disconnected.

Sam threw his phone across the motel room, dropping onto his bed and trying not to cry. Dean would be back soon and he’d had enough of his big brother’s pitiful stares to last him a lifetime. It had only been a few days since the fire, since… since he’d seen Jessica burning on the ceiling.

More than anything, he wanted to talk to Y/N. He’d missed her terribly since she’d left, with no word when she’d be back.

If she’d be back.

He’d left messages, sent texts. Even when Jessica died, she was the first person he tried to contact. Now, it seemed, she’d either gotten sick of him or… something had happened.

Sam had no way of knowing.

Picking up the phone, he checked it over, thankful he’d chosen a sturdier model this time around. He didn’t want to listen to Dean’s bitching if he needed to buy a new one. It was bad enough listening to him moaning about hanging around town.

Half of it was trying to figure out what happened. The other half was a pitifully desperate thought that Y/N might come back when she heard.

He sat on the bed, pulling the Polaroid from his pocket, the one she’d taken that night. The one he’d kept, tucked away, hidden from his girlfriend. Just like his feelings. He’d have to put it all away now.

Y/N was gone. Jessica was gone. All Sam could do… was get revenge.

*****

“Chris, have you seen my cellphone?” Y/N called, pulling the cushions up off of the couch. Her uncle’s house was a mess, one they’d have to sort through after the funeral. Right now, she wanted her phone.

All day, there’d been a wrong feeling in her gut and she couldn’t shake it. For some reason, she felt like finding her phone would make it better but she was coming up empty handed.

“Chris!” she screeched.

Her brother appeared, frowning at her with a beer in his hand. “What?”

“Have you seen my phone?” she demanded, almost growling at him.

Chris shrugged, turning around and walking off. Y/N growled, throwing herself down on the couch. Since she’d come back, Chris had been wallowing over their uncle’s death but she knew he was letting it drag on. He wouldn’t hunt unless she did, too.

Returning to college and leaving him alone wasn’t an option. He couldn’t take care of himself and she’d never forgive herself if he died.

Her thoughts drifted to Sam. He would have found out whether he’d been accepted or not by now. She hoped he’d gotten it. Hoped he’d proposed. Hoped Jessica said yes. It was the least he deserved.

Y/N still had Chris. Her brother needed her. She had to put family first.

Tomorrow, she’d buy a new phone. She’d probably lost the last one out cutting wood last night and it would be next to useless with the rain they’d had. It was just a phone. Easily replaced.

Just like everything could be.


	7. Chapter 7

_Twelve years later…_

It was still light when Y/N pulled up to the house, parking her car next to a red truck she recognized as Bucky’s heap of crap. A wry smile tugged at her lips; if Bucky was here, there was a good chance Randy and Elvis weren’t far behind.

The door was open when she approached and Y/N frowned, peering into the quiet house. Shuffling through, she found Lorraine, Asa’s mom, sitting alone in the sitting room. “Lorraine?”

There was relief on the older woman’s face when she turned to see Y/N at the threshold. “Oh, Y/N,” she whispered, tears in her eyes, “oh, I’m so glad you came.”

“As soon as I got the call,” Y/N replied, moving over to sit on the couch next to her. Lorraine took her hands, sniffing miserably. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”

“You’re here now,” the woman acknowledged. “Where’s your brother?”

Y/N gave her an apologetic smile. “Hunting in Westbridge. He couldn’t drop the case, too dangerous -”

“Lives at risk,” Lorraine muttered, a hint of anger in her tone. “I know, I know. Your uncle was like a son to me, even if I hated the way we met.” She patted Y/N’s hand gently. “I just hope the same fate doesn’t befall you, sweet girl.”

Her uncle Joshua had died twelve years ago, shortly after Y/N left Stanford. Since then, guilt and family obligation kept her with Chris, facing hunt after hunt. Lorraine Fox’s house had been a brief respite in the storms they’d weathered; Joshua had only gotten into hunting through her son Asa.

“Bucky’s here,” Lorraine announced with a forced smile, “he’s in the parlor paying his respects.”

Y/N nodded, getting to her feet. “I should do the same before the rabble arrives.” The older woman snorted in disgust - her distaste for other hunters was well known. She didn’t approve of the life and had never approved of Y/N’s uncle dragging the two youngsters along.

“It’ll be a loud night, that’s for certain,” she complained and Y/N smiled, bending to kiss her on the cheek before she left the room.

Asa’s body was mostly covered and Y/N lingered in the doorway as she watched Bucky lean against the table, his eyes closed. From this angle, it looked like he was crying and Y/N frowned, not used to seeing him so emotional.

The floorboards creaked when she shifted her weight, letting Bucky know she was there. He wiped his nose and gave her a false grin. “Y/N,” he greeted, walking away from Asa toward her. Y/N accepted his hug, grimacing a little when he kissed her cheek. “Good to see you, girl.”

“Not a girl, Bucky,” she reminded him, sidestepping any further hugs and approaching the corpse on the table. “What happened?”

“Jael,” Bucky muttered bitterly and Y/N frowned. She’d never expected that particular piece of filth to ever catch Asa out but hey, things happened. Better hunters had been taken down by less. “You staying for the night or -?”

“No,” Y/N replied, “I’ve gotta get back to Westbridge, Chris is on a case and I don’t wanna leave him.”

Bucky frowned, shaking his head. “You sure let him hold your reins tight, sweetheart. Aren’t you the older sibling?” The expression on her face made him back off, holding his hands up in apology. “Sorry. Oversteppin’ my bounds, like always.”

Huffing, Y/N cast one more glance at Asa’s body. “Rest in peace, old friend,” she whispered, patting his leg and walking past Bucky back out into the sitting room.

Before long, the house started to fill with hunters and by dark, things were in full swing. Hunter funerals were loud occasions, with plenty of beer and more beef jerky than any one person should consume. Y/N was already done with the scene by 9pm, wandering through the house to grab her coat when she heard a name she’d refused to even think about for over a decade.

“Sam Winchester?”

It was like all the air drained from the room. The voices were coming from just beyond the hallway, where she knew Max and Alicia on the couch, where they’d been all night.

Elvis. Of course he’d find Sam and ask him a million questions.

She needed to leave.

Turning on her heel, Y/N instantly collided with a strong chest, looking up in shock to meet Bucky’s amused gaze. “You okay, sugar?”

“Yeah,” she stuttered, “I was just -”

“Oh, hey, you must be Sam!” Bucky said cheerily, looking over her head to where Sam had clearly run from Elvis’ interrogation. Y/N’s chest filled with panic as Bucky stepped around her to offer his hand in greeting. Sam looked uncomfortable as he took the other man’s hand. “I’m Bucky. And this shy little lady is Y/N.”

She cringed, slowly turning as Bucky clapped a hand on her shoulder. Sheepishly, she smiled at Sam, who stared back like he’d seen a ghost. “Hi, Sam.”

“Y/N,” he whispered, eyes wide. “You… you -”

The anguish on his face was too much and Y/N stepped back, shouldering Bucky as she went. “I gotta get going,” she rushed out, shaking her head, turning on her heel before Sam or Bucky could stop her. Pushing herself, Y/N barely even noticed she was crying until she’d reached her car.

He didn’t come out after her.

She didn’t know whether to be happy about that or not.

*****

“So you knew this chick?” Dean asked with a mouthful of bacon and Sam nodded, twisting his fork around in his salad. Mary sat opposite the both of them, worry creasing the lines on her forehead. “What from like -”

“From Stanford,” Sam replied miserably. “She was my best friend and…” He sighed, shaking his head. “She left when her uncle was sick. I thought she’d come back but then everything happened -” Mary reached over the table, patting his hand gently; Sam offered her a grateful smile as Dean stared at him in confusion.

“She’s a hunter,” Mary said quietly, withdrawing her hand again. “A good one too.” She met Sam’s eyes. “You didn’t know?”

Sam shook his head. “No, she never said anything.”

“Maybe she got into the life after?” Dean offered, trying to be helpful but Mary gave him a look that confirmed the opposite.

“Her uncle was friends with Asa. I never met him or the two kids.”

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Sam dropped his fork into his barely-touched meal and sat back. “I don’t get why she’d run. I’m a hunter, she’s a hunter…”

“We’ve all been through things,” Dean said quietly, hands cradling his coffee. He didn’t look up, staring into the murky brown liquid dismally.

“She wouldn’t forget me,” Sam mumbled, dropping his hands into his lap as his mother and brother regarded him sympathetically. The truth was, Sam had never forgotten her, even if he didn’t think about her all the time. Once or twice over the years, he’d pinged her an email, trying to make contact.

They’d always go unanswered.

“I’m sure we’ll run into her again,” Mary said, trying to bolster her youngest son’s mood. “You can talk to her then.”

“Yeah,” Dean reinforced, grinning widely. “Who could forget a Winchester anyway?”

*****

_Six months later…_

Y/N watched from across the street as Walt and Roy knocked on the sheriff’s door, entering quickly and closing it behind them. She’d made a point of avoiding other hunters since Asa’s funeral. When she’d lost Chris not a month before, she’d gone even further out of her way.

Then Garth had called, telling her that Jody Mills had summoned everyone to Sioux Falls. Y/N hadn’t met Jody more than once and she was a nice lady, slightly outside the usual hunter groups. Her association with the Winchesters was well known - one of the reasons Y/N hadn’t stuck around when they’d met the one time.

Sam Winchester was inside that house. If she hadn’t felt it in her gut, the shiny black Impala that was practically a beacon to every hunter and monster there was, was parked outside the modest house. This “meeting” was something to do with the Men Of Letters.

Climbing out of the car, Y/N approached the house warily, the only reason she was going at all was because of her brother’s death and a chance at revenge. Her fingers shook as she lifted her hand to knock and the seconds before someone answered stretched on forever.

Jody answered, smiling as she recognized her visitor. Y/N returned the smile, waving a little lamely as Jody beckoned her inside. “We weren’t expecting you,” she said, closing the door as Y/N loitered just inside. “We were just starting.”

Casting a glance at the room, Y/N was surprised at how many had come to this gathering. Her eyes landed on the middle of the room, in front of Jody’s fireplace, where Sam was taking up the attention of the assembled hunters.

His jaw clenched when he saw her; Y/N’s throat went dry and she followed Jody over to the couch, sitting awkwardly as the sheriff instructed Sam to continue.

Sam cleared his throat. “Um, so my – my brother and I, we – we, um…” There was a pause and he sighed, shaking his head. “No, you know what? I called you here because people - our people -” His eyes met Y/N’s and she managed a small smile.

He was so different from the Sam she remembered.

“- are being slaughtered. And we’re next.” He moved animatedly as he spoke, confirming Y/N’s beliefs that he’d called them here because of the British Men Of Letters. “Most of you had the good sense to turn ‘em down,” he paused again, no longer looking at her, “I didn’t.” The disappointment on his face at himself was understandable, but Y/N knew why he would have agreed to work with them.

For the same reason Chris did.

“They said they wanted the same thing we wanted, you know? A world free of monsters. That’s not what they really wanted.” His gaze fell across the entire room. “They want control. They want to live in a world where they can sit in some office and decide who gets to live and who gets to die. And they’ve killed people. They’ve killed innocent people just because they got in the way.”

He took a breath, his chest puffing out as he kept speaking. “They think the ends justify the means. But we know better. We know hunting isn’t just about killing. It’s about doing what’s right, even when it’s hard. So we go by our gut, right? We play by our own rules, and that scares them. That’s why they want us dead, 'cause we’re the one thing they can’t control.”

Across the other side of the room, Roy spoke up, glaring at Sam. “So what do you want from us?”

Sam’s nerves had all but disappeared. Y/N could still see the young man she knew in his face, his determination. This Sam had seen a lot but he was still a good man, like he’d always been. “I want you to follow me. Take the fight to them. To hit them before they hit us.”

He looked at each occupant of the room individually, his expression stern.

“We go in fast and hard and we fight and we beat them down until they give up or until they’re dead. Look, they’re well-trained and well-armed. Some of us might not make it back. But we will win. We will take down the bad guys because that’s what we do.”

There were a few rumbles of encouragement; Y/N nodded, knowing this was their best shot. A good offensive.

Sam smiled as the assembled hunters all nodded, all agreed. “They’re scared of us. Yeah. Good.” His smile widened and he met Y/N’s eyes once more. “They should be.”

*****

She’d fully expected for him to catch her after they’d agreed to mount an assault on the Men Of Letters compound. When everyone had dispersed, Y/N left the house, heading out to her car to check her weapons.

Sam found her five minutes later and she frowned up at him, seeing the red circles around his eyes like he’d been upset by something. “Hi,” she whispered.

“Thought you were about to run out on me again,” he said softly, the accusation underlying in his voice. Y/N winced, dropping her gaze to the trunk. “Sorry, that was kinda harsh.”

“You really think this will work?” she asked.

Sam sighed, shrugging. “I hope it does.”

“They killed Chris,” Y/N informed him, feeling her own tears threaten her composure. “He worked for them. Almost died protecting their men. And they…” She swallowed, unable to shake the image of her brother’s bloodied corpse out of her head. “When they tried to kill me, he stopped them. By the time I got back to him…”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, gingerly touching her arm.

It would be so easy to just melt into him. Even after all this time.

“Sam, I -”

He cut her off, shaking his head. “Don’t. After,” he promised, “when this is done. We’ll talk, okay?”

Y/N nodded, pursing her lips as she tried not to cry. “Sure,” she mumbled. “But, Sam?” The other hunter paused before he turned away, waiting for whatever she wanted to say. “I’m sorry. For all of it.” He sucked in a breath, smiling with a nod, closing the distance between them with a kiss to her forehead.

“Me too,” he replied, squeezing her shoulder, promptly turning away to jog across the street and join Jody by her truck.

Looking back into her trunk, Y/N sighed, picking up her favorite pistol. It wasn’t how she’d ever imagined reuniting with Sam, but it was better than she’d hoped. He didn’t seem to be angry at her, which was a plus.

She hoped he would stay that way after they’d gotten through this.


	8. Chapter 8

The English bitch had shot her. It wasn’t a good shot but it was enough to have Y/N on her ass, trying to cover the wound on her calf with her hands as blood pumped out of it. While not the first gunshot wound she’d ever sustained, this one seemed more painful than any other.

Walt appeared around one corner, as Sam took off after Hess, growling in frustration when the door shut before he could reach her. “I got this,” Walt called but Sam shook his head, glancing at Y/N on the floor.

“No,” he barked, “get her out of here. Hess is the last one.”

With a nod, Walt bent down, scooping Y/N off of the floor and carrying her down the hallway. Y/N groaned in pain, blood loss starting to make her feel woozy. By the time Walt had her in the backseat of her car, she was out cold.

She came to when the building exploded.

Sam was driving her car away from the scene, hot on the tail of the sheriff’s truck in front of them. He was filthy but appeared unharmed and Y/N sighed, laying her head back down on the leather seat, closing her eyes.

“You okay?” she managed through dry lips.

“I’m good,” he replied quietly, looking at her in the mirror. “It’s done.”

She didn’t want to ask how many they lost. Hunters had always been thin on the ground, now they were even thinner. Remaining quiet, Y/N let sleep take her again, blood loss assisting her unconsciousness.

It was dark when she opened her eyes again, sitting up with a grunt of pain. The blood on her leg had congealed into a sticky mess; Y/N grimaced, looking around. Sam had pulled into a gas station - Jody’s truck was parked alongside, the sheriff and the hunter talking outside.

“You sure you’re not gonna want backup?” Jody asked, hands in her jacket as she squinted up at Sam. He smiled, shaking his head.

“I’m good. You don’t wanna be involved in any of this.”

Y/N frowned, sitting straight, catching Jody’s eye. She smiled, nodding lightly. “Your passenger is awake,” she pointed out and Sam glanced over his shoulder, relief covering his face. “Take care of yourself, Sam.”

“Always do,” Sam replied, pulling her into a hug before turning to Y/N. “You wanna sit up front?” he asked, opening the door for her. She nodded, accepting his help out of the car and around to the passenger side.

When she was settled, Sam returned to the driver’s seat, turning the ignition. “Where are we going?” Y/N asked, looking over at him.

“Dean took our mom back to the bunker,” he said, pulling the car out of the gas station. “It’s where we live.”

“The bunker?” she repeated, scrunching her nose up. “Sounds… ominous.”

Sam chuckled, nodding a little. “Yeah, I guess. But it’s safe.” He hesitated, staring straight ahead. “It’s a little messed up at the moment. Dean kinda used a grenade launcher on a wall.” Y/N blinked, her expression filled with alarm as Sam laughed again. “It’s a long story.”

“Well, we got a long drive, right?” Shifting in her seat, she glanced down at her leg. “Need something to distract me.” Sam raised an eyebrow at her and Y/N grinned. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours?”

He smiled, shaking his head. “You’re gonna think I’m crazy.”

She shrugged. “We’re hunters. Crazy is part of the job.”

“Alright,” Sam drawled, rolling his shoulders. The distraction would probably help him anyway. “I guess I should start at the beginning…”

*****

Y/N thought she’d heard every tale there was to tell about the Winchesters but apparently, she’d been wrong. Sam had journeyed through their story, avoiding the parts that physically caused him pain, skimming over the little details he wasn’t brave enough to share.

She picked up on those, knowing there’d be more to the story, but if Sam didn’t want to share right now, Y/N couldn’t blame him. There was a lot he didn’t know about her.

“And now,” he slowed the car to a stop at a crossroads, checking for traffic before continuing, “we’re trying to find Kelly and figure out what to do about the baby.”

“Sounds complicated,” Y/N whispered, leaning her back against the seat. “And you think this kid is gonna be evil?”

Sam scoffed, turning right onto a long country lane, the sunrise just hitting the horizon. He tugged the shade down from the roof, giving himself at least a little protection from the bright sunlight. “He’s Lucifer’s son,” he muttered, “what else could he be?”

Y/N was silent at that, folding her hands in her lap.

“We’re almost back,” Sam murmured, breaking the silence. Sitting up a little, Y/N kept her eyes on the dawn-lit road as they pulled off down a slight dip. The road was dirt, no longer asphalt, and it was bumpy; she hissed when her leg was knocked and Sam apologized instantly.

By the time he pulled to a stop outside a huge factory-like building, Y/N’s bladder was protesting.

“Look,” Sam started, turning to face her. “We’ve been driving all night. And we’re both exhausted. Let’s get you inside, have a good sleep and then… we’ll go from there.”

She nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a plan.”

Turning the ignition off, Sam climbed out, walking around and opening her door. “Can you walk?” he asked and she shrugged, looking down at her mangled leg. “Shit, we need to clean that. Did the bullet go through?”

“I don’t think so.”

He didn’t seem happy with that. “I’m gonna go in ahead, make sure everything is okay. You good here for a minute?” Y/N nodded, smiling apprehensively as Sam turned away and jogged to the door at the bottom of the building.

She waited nervously, fidgeting in her seat when he didn’t reappear after a few minutes. Worry had her climbing out of the car awkwardly, her leg painful to move. When she was upright, holding onto the door, she tested her weight on her injured limb, wincing when pain went all the way down to her toes.

“At least I can still feel them,” she grunted, wiggling them experimentally.

It hurt to much to move; Y/N stared at the door, willing it to open. When it finally did, she sighed in relief as Sam emerged. His face was red and swollen - he’d been crying, but she didn’t ask why.

“You shouldn’t be on that leg,” he chided, giving her a lopsided grin and Y/N shrugged, hissing through her teeth.

“You took too long. I was getting worried.” She pouted, looking down at her injury. “This hurts like a motherfucker.”

Sam chuckled at that, bending to scoop her up into his arms. Wrapping her arms around his neck was an instinctive move, one that brought her face even closer to his. “The place is a mess, worse than when I left. Dean had a few… problems.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” he kicked the car door shut, carrying Y/N toward the open bunker door, “he’s fine. You’re the one I’m worrying about right now. That leg needs to be cleaned and wrapped and we gotta get the bullet out.”

“Oh boy,” Y/N groaned, leaning her head on his shoulder, “that sounds like it’s gonna require a lot of bourbon.”

Sam grinned, glancing down at her, lips so close she could just move an inch and kiss him. Even after twelve years, he still managed to hold a place in her heart. “Good thing we’ve got a lot of alcohol.”

*****

Getting the bullet out hurt more than when it went in. The congealed blood had to be cleaned from the wound before Sam could even get in there with the tweezers and Y/N was sure her liver would fail before he’d finished.

“That bitch is dead, right?” Y/N grit her teeth, hands clawing in the sheets underneath her.

Sam nodded, finally dragging the bullet free. She cried out, tears falling as fresh blood trickled down her calf onto the bed. “It doesn’t look like it hit the bone,” he muttered, covering the wound with gauze, dabbing it until the bleeding slowed, “but you might wanna stay off it while it heals.”

“Bed rest, yay.” She held up one fist as if cheering, making Sam smile. He wrapped her leg, cleaning away the medical supplies. Her stomach growled loudly and she ducked her head. “Guess I’m hungry.”

“I’ll grab you something to eat,” he offered, closing the kit he’d brought in with him. “You get comfortable and I’ll get your bag from the car, too.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Y/N whispered, catching his hand before he could walk away. He smiled softly, squeezing her fingers briefly before letting go to leave the room.

Laying back, Y/N closed her eyes, folding her hands over her stomach as she tried to focus on the happy little buzz of alcohol in the back of her mind. Sam hadn’t been able to locate anything more than some Tylenol, but the booze helped with that.

Despite her hunger, and under the influence of her injury and the alcohol, sleep claimed her before Sam managed to return.

*****

Waking up in strange places wasn’t anything new to her, but when she opened her eyes this time, it took a few seconds of panic before she realized where she was. Sitting up was a struggle and she groaned, clutching her head as pain throbbed through it.

The noise she made brought attention - Mary appeared in the doorway, frowning at the other woman. “Y/N?”

Y/N blinked up at her, nodding. She hadn’t met Mary before, although she’d heard plenty. “Hi,” she rasped, coughing at the dryness of her throat. Mary crossed the room, picking up the bottle of water Sam had left on the nightstand. Taking it, Y/N sipped gingerly at the cool liquid, drinking enough to soothe her throat and allow easy speech.

“Sam’s asleep,” Mary answered before she could ask. “Dean too.”

No surprise there.

“Good,” Y/N replied, moving to get up from the bed. “Would you mind showing me where the bathroom is again? Was kinda out of it this morning.”

“It is morning,” Mary joked, holding out a hand incase the younger woman fell. It hurt to stand properly and Y/N hissed at the pain as she put as little weight as possible on the her bad leg. There was fresh blood seeping through the bandage, making Mary frown in concern. “We’ll get some fresh bandages on that,” she instructed, sticking close as Y/N hobbled to the door. “You’ve been unconscious for about twenty-four hours.”

Y/N paused in surprise; it had been a long time since she’d slept that much. But getting shot does that to you.

“Took me forever to convince the boys to rest,” Mary continued. “Both of them, still trying to work when they’ve been up days on end -”

“That’s the life,” Y/N mumbled, wincing when her leg throbbed. Mary kept at her side until they reached the bathroom, where she stepped back to give Y/N some privacy. When she was done, Mary gestured down the hall.

“You should probably eat. Why don’t you come sit down in the kitchen and I’ll make you something?”

“Uh,” Y/N hesitated, unsure what the other hunter knew about her, “yeah, sure, I guess.”

Mary smiled and led the way to the kitchen, getting Y/N settled on the one of the stools with her leg propped up and her back against the wall. “Sandwich good for you?” she offered. “I’m not sure what you like…”

“A sandwich would be great,” Y/N assured her, relaxing a little. “Painkillers would be better.”

The older woman laughed and nodded, heading straight for the cabinet the boys tended to keep all the first aid supplies in. Locating some stronger painkillers than the Tylenol the night before, Mary handed them over with a fresh glass of juice.

“You lost a lot of blood,” she commented, pushing the glass closer to Y/N.

It was odd, being cared for like this. Y/N had always been the caregiver - in lieu of her mother, she did most of the “girl stuff” as her uncle referred to it. She made the food, she did the cleaning (blissfully very little of that when you lived in motel rooms) and she made sure they had clean clothes.

She’d never really had a mother.

“Are the boys okay?” Y/N asked, watching Mary preparing a simple baloney sandwich for her. “I mean, Sam didn’t look hurt -”

“Dean’s a little banged up,” Mary replied, “but Sam got out with a few bruises.”

A noise from the hall had both of them turning their attention that way, just as Dean shuffled into view, his limp almost as bad as Y/N’s. He grinned as he entered the kitchen, grabbing a coffee and kissing his mom on the cheek. “Mornin’,” he grunted, sliding onto the bench opposite Y/N.

“Morning,” she replied, smiling. “I don’t think we’ve ever officially had the pleasure.”

“Y/N, right?” he asked and she nodded. A finger gun was promptly fired in her direction, along with a wink. “Dean. The better looking brother.”

“Dean.” Mary’s voice held a warning tone that made him laugh and Y/N smiled again, shaking her head. Mary finished her sandwich, bringing it over to the table and looking down at her eldest son. “Breakfast, sweetheart?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “I think there’s some bacon in the back of the refrigerator.”

His mother rolled her eyes, smiling affectionately as she turned back to start cooking. Dean gave Y/N a bright grin and she laughed at his behavior.

“So you’re Sammy’s best friend from college, huh?”


	9. Chapter 9

Sam ached from head to toe. Rolling over was a discovery of bruises that he’d hadn’t even acknowledged the night before. When his mom had finally sent him and Dean to bed, which was kinda nice if he was honest, he’d barely got his head on the pillow before he was asleep.

There were voices coming from down the hall in the kitchen. Sam groaned when he got to his feet, stretching out the kinks with a hearty yawn before padding across the room to the door.

He wasn’t expecting to find Dean regaling Mary and Y/N with the tale of ‘When Sam thought he could fly’. Scowling at his brother only got him a cheeky grin and he rolled his eyes, heading for the coffee machine.

“How’d you sleep?” Mary asked and Sam nodded, smiling over his shoulder at her.

“Pretty good.” Sam picked up his fresh coffee, sitting next to Y/N, careful not to jostle her leg. “We need to figure out what we’re gonna do about Lucifer.” Y/N’s eyes widened.

“Lucifer?” she whispered. “As in -”

“The Devil,” Dean filled in, scowling at his brother. Sam opened his mouth to start talking but Mary stopped him, placing a hand on the table as she stared them both down.

“We’ve had a rough few days,” she said quietly. “And the next few aren’t gonna be any better. I need to change the dressing on Y/N’s leg. You two, need showers.” She glanced at Dean. “No arguments. Two hours, meet in the library and we’ll take this down a piece at a time, okay?”

There wasn’t any arguing with the ‘mom voice’ and both brothers relented, nodding at their mother. Mary smiled, looking over at Y/N.

“Let’s get that leg sorted.”

*****

Her mind hadn’t stopped spinning since she’d heard the name Lucifer and realized whatever the Winchesters were in, it was bigger than anything she’d faced. And with her leg the way it was, she was next to useless in a fight.

Mary had redressed her leg and left her in her room after she was done, not saying anything about the library or her helping in anyway. Y/N didn’t know if she even wanted to be involved.

“Y/N?”

Sam’s knock was quiet and she looked up, sighing a little. “Hey,” she forced a smile onto her face as Sam walked in, “how was the shower?”

“Good,” he replied, running a hand through his still-damp hair. “Listen, I was thinking… this thing with Lucifer…”

“Yeah,” she muttered, picking at a loose thread on the comforter. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Sam. That’s big stuff. I stay away from angels, demons and all that. Not all of us get a ‘get out of Hell free’ card.”

A smirk tugged at his lips and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed with her, reaching out to take her hand. “I haven’t told you how glad I am to see you again.”

“Me too,” she murmured, her smile a little more genuine. “And I know I still owe you an explanation but -”

“It’s not the right time,” he finished, nodding. “I get it. We don’t have a game plan yet or even a clue where they are.” He sighed, squeezing her fingers. “Afterward, we’ll talk. Just you and me.” Y/N smiled, squeezing back.

Sam released her hand, getting to his feet. “I’d better join the others.”

“Can I help?” she offered but he frowned. “I mean, I can read. And I’m pretty good at research.”

His eyes sparkled as amusement spread across his face. “My study buddy would be helpful,” he mused and Y/N ducked her head. “Research is a go.” Holding out a hand, Sam bowed a little; Y/N giggled, taking the offered help and limping up onto two feet.

“Lead the way,” she instructed. “Show me how you guys save the world.”

*****

The number of painkillers she’d taken left her drowsy and three hours into the books, she was falling asleep. They’d come up with a half-decent plan to track the nephilim but when Y/N almost face-planted the tome of ‘Celestial Beings And Their Known Abilities’, Sam had insisted she got some sleep.

He’d carried her back down the hall to the room they’d given her, his even gait making her drift as she clung to his neck.

She kinda liked him carrying her around. Not that she’d say it out loud. Sometimes she just… forgot how big he was.

“You what?” Sam chuckled; she realized in horror that she’d spoken aloud.

“Sorry,” Y/N mumbled, burying her face in his chest to hide her embarrassment. “Meds are making me loopy.” He laughed again, the vibrations of it right against her ear and she couldn’t help the way her stomach flip-flopped uncontrollably at the feeling.

Her bed was a welcome comfort and she smiled dopily at Sam as he pulled the covers up over her.

“If you have to run,” she whispered, her eyes barely open, “just leave me a note.”

“Promise you won’t leave?” he asked, sounding a little nervous and Y/N shook her head, lifting up a little on her shaking elbows. Sam’s eyes went wide when she pressed her lips against his, the slightest touch of a kiss that made him sigh.

“I won’t leave,” Y/N promised, lowering herself back down and shifting awkwardly onto her side. Sam hovered a moment as she closed her eyes fully, her features slowly relaxing. Confident she was okay, Sam tried to ignore the warm feeling in his belly that seemed to spread and backed out of the room, closing the door.

Within hours, they were heading out to find Kelly Kline. Sam watched the bunker in the rearview mirror, hoping against hope that he’d stay true to the words he’d left her.

*****

It had been four days since she’d woken up to the polaroid photo from their first year of college, Sam’s handwriting on the back. Y/N had kept it in her pocket, smiling every time she thought of the fact he’d kept it with him for over a decade.

But she was starting to worry.

_I’ll come back._

Although her instinct was to believe him, that niggling doubt in the back of her mind wouldn’t go away. She spent the time on her own reading in the library, once she’d cleaned up some of the mess they’d left behind. Her leg was marginally better but she wouldn’t be driving anywhere anytime soon.

By the time the fifth day rolled around, worry had become panic. Y/N had called nearly every hunter she could get hold of but none of them had heard anything about Sam or Dean.

It was past noon when the bunker door opened, scaring the shit out of her. She drew her gun, aiming up from where she was perched at the map table. Her fingers were shaking and she panted as the door opened onto the balcony, a familiar figure appearing.

“Sam?” she whispered, eyes wide at the state of him.

Dean trawled in close behind, his expression much the same as his brother’s. Behind him, a younger man, someone she hadn’t met before, who was dressed in ill-fitting clothes and looked completely bewildered.

Y/N stood up on wobbly legs, frowning at Sam as he reached the bottom of the steps. “Sam, what… what happened?”

“Mom,” he replied, shaking his head and she limped toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He took a deep breath, holding her tightly until Dean cleared his throat, forcing them to separate.

“Jack needs a room,” he grunted, side-eyeing the boy distastefully. The kid didn’t seem to notice or care that Dean didn’t like him, his doe eyes scanning the bunker in amazement. Sam nodded, squeezing Y/N’s shoulder.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” he promised and she nodded, watching him guide Jack out of the room.

Dean threw himself into a chair, groaning in pain. “Your leg is better,” Y/N commented, pointing at his completely healed injury. “Wanna share your secret?”

“Castiel healed me,” he replied, avoiding her eyes. “He’s…”

Understanding dawned on her face and she sank into her seat again, dismay on her face. She’d never met Castiel but from what she understood, he meant a great deal to the Winchesters. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

He gave her a tight smile. “S’okay,” he muttered, “used to it.”

“No one ever gets used to it,” she retorted, shaking her head. “Your mom -” Dean sighed, looking away. “Dean,” Y/N started but he got up, stalking out of the room and disappearing down the hall. Her face fell and she looked down at the table, feeling more than useless.

Getting to her feet, she limped toward the bedrooms, hearing Sam instructing Jack. With no context, it sounded odd to have to give details on how to use a toothbrush, but she’d heard weirder things. She slipped into her room quietly, lying down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

It was a while before Sam’s soft knock made her sit up and he slipped into the room without waiting for an invitation, crawling in her bed. He’d done it before, in college; when nightmares had woken him up, he’d turn up at her door in the middle of the night and crawl into her bed.

That was before Jessica, of course. He didn’t need Y/N after that.

She rolled onto her side to face him, seeing the exhaustion in his eyes. “Distract me?” he asked quietly and Y/N smiled, nodding.

“I can tell you mine now,” she whispered, taking his hand - Sam nodded, giving her a small smile. “I guess, mine starts before college. And yeah, I knew who you were then.” His eyebrows drew together in a frown. “You wanted normal,” Y/N pleaded, hoping he’d understand. “I did too. I thought… I thought it would only make you want to avoid me.”

“Hey,” Sam lifted her hand, kissing her knuckles gently. “It’s done. It’s over.” He smiled a little wider this time. “I’m just glad you’re here.” Shifting closer, he laid his head next to hers, their noses almost touching. “Tell me.”

Taking a breath, Y/N nodded, resisting the urge to run her fingers through his hair. It had gotten so long…

Shaking off the temptation, she smiled, touching his face lightly, keeping the contact brief. “Okay. Story time.”


	10. Chapter 10

Sam didn’t want to sleep.

After Y/N had finished telling him her side of things, they’d moved onto other subjects. It was nice, nostalgic, getting to know each other again, with no secrets or lies. He told her about the demon blood, the parts he’d missed out from before, and when it came to talking about his mother, he couldn’t help but shed a tear.

Y/N had eventually passed out, her healing body still extracting a lot of her energy. He remained at her side, watching her sleep, wondering how the universe had brought them back together at such a terrifying time.

His eyelids tugged downward, heavy with weariness and Sam knew he couldn’t hold it off. He had to sleep, had to recharge. And with Y/N’s warm body next to his, it was too easy to give in.

Waking up next to her felt like a dream.

She was stirring, her eyelashes fluttered as her eyes opened slowly and Sam smiled, meeting her gaze as she woke. “Morning,” he whispered and Y/N smiled right back at him, leaning in to softly press her lips to his.

Sam was stunned, much as he had been the last time but this felt more intimate. There was more pressure behind her touch than there had been before and when her tongue probed at his lips, Sam granted her silent request without even thinking about it.

The kiss ended when they both pulled back to breathe, clinging to each other. Sam licked his lips, shifting slightly as his body responded to her proximity. “Is this too fast?” he asked quietly.

Y/N smiled, one hand on his face as she pressed her mouth against his softly. “You wanna stop?”

“I never wanna let you outta my sight again,” he replied honestly, running his fingers through her hair. “I wish…” Sam paused, sighing as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Y/N’s. “It doesn’t matter what I wish. You’re here now.”

“I’m here,” she promised, reaching down to pull the polaroid from her pocket, pressing it into his chest, right over his heart. Smiling, Sam took the photo, looking down at the image of them, so much younger, and happier.

Tossing it onto the nightstand, he let his attention focus entirely on Y/N, moving in for another heated kiss. She responded eagerly, tugging his hair as she threaded her fingers through it. Sam’s hands slid around her waist, cupping her ass and dragging her flush with his body.

Neither of them had bothered to undress before they’d fallen asleep and Sam was quick to start on rectifying that issue. His fingers tugged her shirt over her head, reluctantly breaking the kiss so he could unclothe her. Y/N was equally desperate to undress him, making hasty work of his overshirt and t-shirt.

When his knee brushed her injured leg, Y/N hummed in pain and Sam’s expression crumpled with regret. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he murmured, kissing her as if it might help. “We’re gonna have to watch that leg.”

“Does that mean doggy style is out?” she quipped cheekily and Sam groaned.

“The second you’re better,” his lips brushed over hers, “I will fuck you from behind all you want.” Y/N released the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding, shuddering against him. “I’m yours, Y/N. However you want me.”

Her cheeks felt like they were on fire as Sam stopped talking and kept kissing, his fingers gently unclasping her bra. Moving down, his mouth dragged wet kisses over her chest; Y/N’s hands were buried in his hair when his tongue found one hard nipple through the loose fabric.

The next second, her bra was gone and Sam had her nipple in his mouth.

“Fuck, Sam -” Y/N’s words tapered off into whimpers as he sucked at her tits, paying attention to both, using his hands when he wasn’t using his mouth. Warmth flushed her skin and every hair on her arms stood straight as Sam worshiped her. “God, feels so good -”

Sam hummed against her breast, looking up at her. “I’m killing time,” he confessed, releasing her nipple with a wet pop. “I’m not sure we thought about the logistics with your leg…”

“Well,” she murmured, dragging her thumb over his full bottom lip, “there is one way you can fuck me from behind.” He frowned and Y/N giggled, shifting so she could remove the loose yoga pants; she wasn’t wearing any underwear and Sam’s eyebrows hit his hairline, eyes darkening with arousal.

“You wanna be my little spoon?” he growled, the sound slightly more aggressive that he meant but Y/N only rolled onto her side and wiggled her ass at him.

There wasn’t a need to tell him twice. Sam tore off his pants, tossing them to the floor. When he went for the dresser, Y/N sat up, leaning on her elbow. “Where you going?”

“Protection,” he mumbled, looking a little sheepish. She shook her head, beckoning him back to the bed. Sam hesitated - Y/N sighed.

“I’m on the pill,” she whispered, “and I know you’re clean, you’re not an idiot.” Crawling back onto the bed, Sam captured her mouth in a kiss again and Y/N smiled when he pulled away. “Besides,” she added, “I wanna feel everything.”

Sam groaned, shedding his boxers before sliding in behind her, his cock already thick against her back. His hands slid over her hip, down between her thighs, one fingers finding her clit easily. “You’re wet,” he commented, pressing his finger further into her slit, a quiet sucking sound making it clear how aroused she was.

Y/N bit her lip, grinding her ass into his crotch, prompting Sam to rut into her. “Sam…”

“You always were impatient,” he muttered, kissing along her shoulder to the spot below her ear. His voice was husky when he spoke again, lips brushing against her earlobe. “You want my cock inside you, Y/N?” She nodded listlessly, gasping for breath. “Want me to fuck you until you can’t see straight?”

“Yes.” Her answer was hissed, cutting off with a sharp cry when Sam’s hand spread her thighs, two fingers probing her entrance. He thrust them inside her, almost snarling against her ear when he felt how wet she was inside.

It was only a few seconds before his impatience matched hers.

Pressing against his cock with one hand, Sam guided the tip between her thighs, withdrawing his fingers as Y/N lifted her uninjured leg, giving him more room. Her heat was almost scalding against his sensitive head - he’d forgotten how good she felt.

She whimpered when the first inch penetrated her, splitting her open. It had been a hell of a long time since she’d shared her bed with anyone and Sam was gifted with a larger-than-average package. He moved slowly, rocking into her, withdrawing back with every inch she took to give her a little more time to adjust.

When his cockhead pressed into her cervix, his hips finally flush with her ass, Sam groaned, leaning his forehead against her shoulder. “You feel amazing,” he muttered. “I forgot how warm and wet you are.”

“It was only once,” she whispered, gasping when he rolled his hips.

“Enough to make me want more,” he replied, smirking. Placing his hand on his hip, Sam kept her steady as he thrust, pressing as deep as he could before pulling out, repeating the action over and over until Y/N was panting heavily, her eyes barely open. “I still remember how good you feel when you cum on my dick.”

His filthy words made her whine, her lower body pushing back to meet his thrusts. The pain of her injuries didn’t even register as Sam kept fucking into her, his cock slamming into her cervix hard enough to make her dizzy.

“I’m gonna -” Her squeaked warning was only a second or two before she started to cum for him, clenching tightly around his shaft. Sam grunted, his thrusts faltering, his control on the edge of breaking. “Sam,” Y/N whimpered, “wanna feel you cum.”

Her quiet request broke him and Sam let go, fucking her hard until he felt that tingling in his balls. He came with a throaty roar, burying his face against her neck as his hips stuttered and his cum dribbled out onto her thigh.

Y/N couldn’t form words. She lay with her eyes closed, enjoying the feel of his cock throbbing inside her, still hard and twitching with his release. Sam’s weight was a comfort against her back and for a moment, she considered just falling back to sleep.

The growl of her stomach stopped that from being a possibility.

Sam chuckled, lifting up, withdrawing from her body with a wince. “When did you last eat?” he asked. She rolled onto her back to look up at him; Sam couldn’t help himself. He lowered his mouth, sucking at her bare nipple again.

“Yesterday?” Her answer was hesitant.

“Hmmm,” he let go of her nipple, looking up at her with a smirk on his face, “you should eat.”

A lazy smile spread across her face. “Are you offering to make me breakfast?”

“Breakfast,” he confirmed, raising an eyebrow, “and lunch, and dinner, and tea, supper -” He moved up, kissing her softly and Y/N sighed happily. “I’ll cook for you every day if you stay.” She giggled at that, her knowledge of his lacklustre cooking skills still fairly fresh in her mind.

“You don’t have to bribe me,” she whispered, reaching up to cradle his cheek, stroking her thumb over his stubbled skin. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“What if things get too intense here?” Sam murmured in concern, searching her eyes for any thread of doubt that she was making a mistake. Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “You’re not worried?”

“No,” she affirmed. “I don’t expect it to be easy but then… it never was. Being with you?” She pulled him down, kissing him almost chastely in respect to what they’d just done. “Time never stopped me loving you, Sam Winchester.”

His eyes felt wet and Sam sniffed, smiling as he kissed her again. “Me either,” he whispered back, pushing hair out of her eyes. “It never will.”

 

END


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